Genius Bodybuilders Canceling Arnold Schwarzenegger For BECAUSE THEY'RE MAD AT HIM, OK?

US of America News
Genius Bodybuilders Canceling Arnold Schwarzenegger For BECAUSE THEY'RE MAD AT HIM, OK?

A couple weeks back, Arnold Schwarzenegger said some really lovely things about pissant shitbaby anti-maskers whose petulant refusal to wear masks is ruining life for all the rest of us who aren't goddamn pissant shitbabies like them.

What Schwarzenegger said was "hasta la vista, baby""it's not a tumor" "screw your freedom." To any non-moron, it was clear he was responding to how they whine that their desire to not wear masks has something to do with MAH FREEDOMS WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (That's how they say it, in all caps, and they cry at the end, with one single tear coming down their red, white and blue faces, just like the traditional American bald eagle.)

More fuller quote:

"There is a virus here — it kills people," Schwarzenegger said, "and the only way we prevent it is get vaccinated, get masks, do social distancing, washing your hands all the time, and not just to think about 'Well, my freedom is being kind of disturbed here.' No, screw your freedom."

Like we said, lovely. Should be on a Hallmark card.

Well, we regret to inform you that there are some very dumb meatheads who seem to be snorting their creatine little bit too hard directly into their brains, and they just can't get over how their formerly beloved Arnold put that "Proud To Be An American" song in a headlock and punched the American flag right in the dick while laughing, by saying "screw your freedom." And they're standin' up for what they believe!

Here is some guy named Aaron Singerman, who runs a supplements company called REDCON1, announcing why his company has had to make the hard decision of pulling out of next month's Arnold Classic bodybuilding event, and must also cut ties with Arnold. It is so earnest. It is the steadfast message of a guy who thinks he understood a thing, but has no idea he completely missed the point.

Y'all, bless this guy's heart.

Can you read that message? Can you see how long Singerman has looked up to Arnold Schwarzenegger? Can you see his heavy heart and his sadness now, because of how Arnold disrespected Baby American Jesus? Do you understand that it's because REDCON1 is a "patriotic pro-freedom brand" that can't been seen cavorting with such un-American freedom stealers as the former Republican governor of California who has the big muscles?

By the way, what Singerman said about REDCON1 being a "patriotic pro-freedom brand," it's definitely true. Go to their website, you will laugh and laugh. It's clearly marketed to guys who need the very website where they buy bodybuilding supplements to make their dicks FEEL bigger to them, who need to believe the powder they are putting in their yum yum chocolate milk will make them MAN.

Is there something called WAR ZONE Muscle Builder, with real live tuff big Army guy on it? There is. Does big military helicopter fly across the screen as you scroll down? Oh it does.

Is there are also something called TOTAL WAR BUNDLE 1776, which includes "Official 1776 Shirt" and a big can of pre-workout powder called TOTAL WAR that literally says it's for "WHEN YOU'RE READY TO BRING THE NOISE"? It says it tastes like "the taste of sweet freedom"!

So that's who's breaking up with Arnold right now.

Singerman told The Hill that Arnold's comments were "anti-America." Because obviously Arnold was talking about literally screwing your American freedom, and not making fun of whiny baby anti-maskers.

"We elected to discontinue support due to Arnold's comment, 'Screw Your Freedoms.' With the global influence Arnold beholds we find that ideology dangerous and anti-America and community."

Hahahahaha, OK.

Apparently this dude and his sparkle muscle powders aren't the only big strong guys who are very mad at Arnold Schwarzenegger right now either. Some website we found called BarBend explains that "Four-time World's Strongest Man (WSM) Champion Brian Shaw" also ripped Arnold's poster off the wall of his gym, which does indeed sound like a feat of strength. The article's got some others whining too. If you scroll down far enough, you might even find one of 'em stomping a Dixie Chicks CD. They don't even seem to be responding to what Arnold said about mask-wearing, though, but rather are just upset he said "screw your freedom," just like brain genius up there.

Thoughts 'n' prayers to all this.


[The Hill]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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