Geniuses Across America To Protest All The 'Sharia Law' No One Is Doing To Them
In 28 cities across the country today, tens of idiots are getting together to protest "Sharia Law." You know, because it is totally so very likely that the United States of America will somehow adopt Sharia Law.
The protests are organized by anti-Muslim hate group Act for America, which counts among it's board members former Trump advisors Walid Phares and Michael "Good Guy" Flynn.
One of these protests, set to take place in Arkansas, was already cancelled after it was revealed that the rally's primary organizer was Billy Roper, a known Neo-Nazi. Whoops! Of course, that doesn't mean that Neo-Nazis, anti-government groups and white supremacist groups are not going to show up -- groups like the III Percenters, the Minnesota Minutemen, White Lives Matter and Sons of Odin have all announced they would be attending in various states, and the SPLC reports that neo-Nazi Christopher Aldean Locke will be attending the Roseville, California protest with his steel-toed boots on.
ACT's founder Brigitte Gabriel claims that what they are protesting is Sharia Law being applied in the United States, and not just elsewhere -- specifically citing female genital mutilation and honor killings. Which she for some reason thinks are totally legal here and "feminists" are fine with it, despite the fact that they are definitely not legal and no, "feminists" are not fine with that at all.
“It’s already here in America,” Gabriel told birther site World Net Daily. “We’re seeing girls being killed simply for wanting to wear makeup. Under our Constitution they deserve the same rights and protections.”
And they have them! Yeah, that is definitely illegal here and anyone who does that is going to end up in jail. Just like how Warren Jeffs is in jail for following his religion's "requirement" that he marry a bunch of preteen girls. Just like how Christian Minister Brooke Covington may be going to jail for leading her congregation in beating a gay man half to death in order to "exorcise his demons." Everyone here is allowed to practice their religion. No one here is allowed to break the law because of their religion. It's all very sense-making and fair!
By the way, Sharia Law does not require Female Genital Mutilation. That is not a thing. According to Dr Ahmend Talib, Dean of the Faculty of Sharia, Al Azhar University in Cairo, "All practices of female circumcision and mutilation are crimes and have no relationship with Islam. Whether it involves the removal of the skin or the cutting of the flesh of the female genital organs...it is not an obligation in Islam." There is also no mention of it in the Koran. The practice is also not limited to Muslims, and it's actually practiced by Christians in some countries as well.
Female genital mutilation is a freaking horrifying thing, and it's important that we all work together to put an end to it the world over. You know what's really, really unhelpful in doing that? Idiots claiming that it's part of Sharia Law and disingenuously protesting against it because they don't like Muslims and they want to have a stupid protest against Muslims. In fact, it is the very opposite of helpful.
They're not trying to be helpful though, they just think they've hit on a real clever way to be assholes with some kind of moral impunity that will prevent anyone from calling them assholes. It's a troll. As evidenced by this statement from protest organizer/megadouche Scott Presler to World Net Daily:
If radical leftists want to hold counter protests in favor of female genital mutilations, honor killings and the death penalty for former Muslims who have left the faith, they are more than welcome to do so.
And they totally would have gotten us on that too, if it weren't for those meddling kids and their blasted dog! Or, you know, the fact that we're not stupid.
So how are the trolls doing? Well, Wonkette's own Killer Martinis was gracious enough to take a pic for us at the protest in Southfield, Michigan!
Yep! That sure is an empty parking lot!
The Southern Poverty Law Center's Hatewatch feed has a number of sweet pics as well:
OOH! The Proud Boys! Think they brought some milk with them to chug?
I'm sure they'll all have a lovely time making asses out of themselves. Maybe next week they can all get together to protest unicorns or something equally non-existent!
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse