George Conway Gonna Be Sleeping On That Couch FOREVER
Far be it from us to comment on other people's marriages, but ... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AT THE CONWAY HOUSE? Kellyanne's husband is wildin' out on Twitter like a guy who took one too many muscle relaxers to unkink his neck after sleeping on the couch for three months. ALLEGEDLY.
He's diagnosing Trump with Anti-Social Personality Disorder.
Factcheck: TRUE. (You know, allegedly.)
Sticking with the medical theme, George Conway has pronounced Trump a cancer on the presidency.
Factcheck: RIGHT AGAIN. (Not allegedly!)
He's debunked Lindsey Graham's word vomit about Trump lacking intent to commit a crime, since he wrote a check to Michael Cohen for the illegal campaign finance payoff to Stormy Daniels.
But see: Trump's rousing performance on Hannity last night where he insisted he never knew about the payoff he was reimbursing Cohen for with those checks. CHECK MATE ... or something.
George is RTing Dan Drezner when he calls Trump an absolute idiot. George is RTing Popehat advising Trump to plead the Fifth. George is RTing Mimi Rocah describing the pornstar payoffs a fraudulent scheme showing knowledge of guilt.
Then George gets tired and RTs pictures of dogs.
After that, Conway got right back to quoting Susan Hennessey saying, "If Kushner hasn't resigned by the time we wake up tomorrow, it is a sign that the basic checks of government have ceased to function." Meanwhile, his lovely wife Kellyanne is insisting that granting the presidential
princeling son-in-law security clearance over the objections of the CIA and White House counsel is good, just and most importantly, LEGAL.
George attacks Trump's National Emergy as flagrantly illegal, while Kellyanne defends Trump's "absolute right" to steal money from the Defense Department and opioid addiction prevention to stop an imaginary horde of diseased Mexican zombies storming the border.
George is horrified that Trump would defend North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, whose regime arrested a healthy college student and tortured him until his brain shut down, finally sending him home in a vegetative coma to die.
Kellyanne scolds Otto Warmbier's parents for their lack of gratitude to the Dear Leaders who shipped his body home so his parents could have the honor of taking him off life support.
Because Kellyanne is a FUCKING GHOUL.
REPORTER: You told me you found [George's tweets] disrespectful.
KAC: It is disrespectful, it's a violation of basic decency, certainly, if not marital vows . . . as "a person familiar with their relationship."
REPORTER: No, we're on the record here. You can't say after the fact "as someone familiar."
KAC: I told you everything about his tweets was off the record.
REPORTER: No, that's not true. That never happened.
KAC: Well, people do see it this way. People do see it that way, I don't say I do, but people see it that way.
REPORTER: But I'm saying we never discussed everything about his tweets being off the record. There are certain things you said that I put off the record.
KAC: Fine. I've never actually said what I think about it and I won't say what I think about it, which tells you what I think about it.
Paging Esther Perel ...
Like we said, talking about other people's marriages is tacky and gross. So we're not going to say what we think about it, which tells you what we think about it. All we're saying is that "people familiar with their relationship" are suggesting that George should take the kids and the dogs and GTFO! Yes, many people are saying it. You're hearing it more and more lately.
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.