Ages ago, it seems, Bud Selig hired George Mitchell (and his law/lobbying firm, DLA Piper) to investigate the steroids-in-baseball controversy and make some policy recommendations. Mitchell held a presser to talk about the conclusions, blah, blah, blah. Whatever, you know you just want to know who he calls out!

The player's union was "largely uncooperative" Mitchell says, like, no shit Sherlock. Despite that, the legalese-y report says the following players used steroids:

• Lenny Dykstra (Mets and Phillies)

• David Segui (Orioles, Mets, Expos, Mariners, Blue Jays, Rangers, Indians)

• Larry Bigbie (Orioles, Rockies, Cardinals)

• Brian Roberts (Orioles)

• Jack Cust (Diamondbacks, Rockies, Orioles, Padres, Athletics)

• Tim Laker (Expos, Orioles, Devil Rays, Pirates, Indians)

• Josias Manzanillo (Red Sox, Brewers, Mets, Yankees, Mariners, Pirates, Reds, Marlins)

• Todd Hundley (Mets, Dodgers, Cubs)

• Mark Carreon (Mets, Tigers, Giants, Indians)

• Hal Morris (Yankees, Reds)

• Matt Franco (Mets, Cubs, Braves)

• Rondell White (Expos, Cubs, Yankees, Royals, Padres, Tigers, Twins)

• Roger Clemens (Red Sox, Blue Jays, Yankees, Astros)

• Andy Pettitte (Yankees, Astros)

• Chuck Knoblauch (Twins, Yankees, Royals)

• Jason Grimsley (Phillies, Indians, Angels, Yankess, Royals, Orioles, Diamondbacks)

• Gregg Zaun (Orioles, Marlins, Rangers, Royals, Astros, Rockies, Blue Jays)

• David Justice (Braves, Indians, Yankees, Athletics)

• F.P. Santangelo (Expos, Giants, Dodgers, Athletics)

• Glenallen Hill (Blue Jays, Indians, Cubs, Giants, Mariners, Yankees, Angels)

• Mo Vaughn (Red Sox, Angels, Mets)

• Denny Neagle (Twins, Pirates, Braves, Reds, Yankees, Rockies)

• Ron Villone (Mariners, Padres, Brewers, Indians, Reds, Rockies, Astros, Pirates, Marlins, Yankees)

• Ryan Franklin (Mariners, Phillies, Reds, Cardinals)

• Chris Donnels (Mets, Astros, Red Sox, Dodgers, Diamondbacks)

• Todd Williams (Dodgers, Reds, Mariners, Yankees, Orioles)

• Phil Hiatt (Royals, Tigers, Dodgers)

• Todd Pratt (Phillies, Cubs, Mets, Braves)

• Kevin Young (Pirates, Royals)

• Mike Lansing (Expos, Rockies, Red Sox)

• Cody McKay (Athletics, Cardinals)

• Kent Mercker (Braves, Orioles, Indians, Reds, Cardinals, Red Sox, Angels, Rockies, Cubs)

• Adam Piatt (Athletics, Devil Rays)

• Miguel Tejada (Athletics, Orioles)

• Jason Christiansen (Pirates, Cardinals, Giants, Angels)

• Mike Stanton (Braves, Red Sox, Rangers, Yankess, Mets, Nationals, Giants, Reds)

• Stephen Randolph (Diamondbacks, Astros)

• Jerry Hairston, Jr. (Orioles, Cubs, Rangers)

• Paul Lo Duca (Dodgers, Marlins, Mets)

• Adam Riggs (Dodgers, Padres, Angels)

• Bart Miadich (Angels)

• Fernando Vina (Mariners, Mets, Brewers, Cardinals, Tigers)

• Kevin Brown (Rangers, Orioles, Mariners, Padres, Dodgers, Yankees)

• Eric Gagné (Dodgers, Rangers, Red Sox, Brewers)

• Matt Herges (Dodgers, Expos, Giants, Padres, Diamondbacks,Marlins, Rockies)

• Gary Bennett, Jr. (Phillies, Mets, Rockies, Padres, Brewers, Nationals, Cardinals)

• Jim Parque (White Sox, Devil Rays)

• Brendan Donnelly (Angels, Red Sox)

• Chad Allen (Twins, Indians, Marlins, Rangers)

• Jeff Williams (Dodgers)

• Howie Clark (Orioles, Blue Jays)

• Nook Logan (Tigers, Nationals)

• Daniel Naulty (Twins, Yankees)

This doesn't include Bonds, Conseco, Giambi, McGuire or Palmero, who have all already been outed as users. Keep in mind that this list was compiled from the testimony of only a handful of people. Mitchell kept repeating during the presser that he never intended to find every user in the league and doesn't think that the MLB ought to try- if only because there's no way there'd apparently be anyone left to play. Expect Congress to hold outraged hearings (again) and do basically nothing about the problem (again) while Bud Selig and the MLB do as little as possible to correct the problem.

Report to the Commission [CNN]