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Sorry to pop your pimple, Lil Papi, but you got about as much of a shot at withdrawing that Mueller guilty plea as Yr FDF does of playing for the NBA. (And she's 5'2" and 43 years old!) Feel free to ride that wingnut wave to a spot on the grifter speaking circuit, but you'll still have to serve that paltry two-week sentence for lying to the FBI. And you ought to be damn grateful it wasn't two years!

This week, George Papadopoulos is making the rounds at various Trump outlets to pretend that he's maybe for real this time going to withdraw his guilty plea and blow the lid off this dirty, dirty Mueller investigation. Sure, he got hammered that one time and told Australia's former foreign minister that Russia had Clinton's emails and intended to leak them to help Trump. But, umm, somethingsomething HILLARY arglebargle FBI, ipso facto res ipsa loquitur it's all a plot to frame poor Georgie for loving Trump too much.


You hear that, Mr. Kilmeade? George is only doing it to protect the kids. The ones coming up who don't know that repeatedly lying to the FBI in a major criminal investigation might land them in the slammer.

Forget that plea agreement where he gave up his right to appeal or mount a collateral challenge to the sentence.

Papadopoulos can't even FOIA the government for the duration of the Special Counsel investigation.

But sure, go on JV Fox and tell that Buck Sexton dude that you were ENTRAPPED. (And also that Buck Sexton is a porn name.)

What I'm going to detail are the names of the individuals who I believe targeted me at the behest of Western intelligence. That perhaps were masquerading as Russian operatives. [...]

If indeed it is proved true that Josef Mifsud, the professor, the so-called Russian spy who had this damaging information that the Russians had Hillary's emails before it was publicly known, if he really was not a Russian operative and it was known to the Western intelligence community, as some have reported recently, and his own lawyer has stated publicly, that he was actually working on behalf of Western intelligence, then perhaps this is one of the largest cases of entrapment in history.

Okay, simmer down, Li'l Dipshit. "I only conspired with someone PRETENDING to be a Russian spy" is not the world's greatest defense. And just because that freakshow Margot Cleveland at the Federalist is hyping some nonsense about Mifsud being a plant doesn't mean it's going to work with an IRL judge. For one thing, Mifsud's connections to Russia are well-known, as the BBC reports.

In April 2016, Mifsud reportedly introduced Papadopoulos via email to Ivan Timofeev, who works for a think tank close to the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

That same month, Mifsud was in Moscow on a panel run by the Kremlin-backed Valdai Club with Timofeev and the third man, Dr Stephan Roh, a German multi-millionaire.

Mifsud and Roh interlock: in 2014, Roh became a visiting lecturer at the London Academy of Diplomacy. Roh bought Link Campus University, a private institution in Rome where Mifsud was part of the management and Mifsud became a consultant at Roh's legal firm.

For another, that's not how entrapment works. Because talking to a Russian spy, real or otherwise, isn't a crime. BUT LYING TO THE FBI IS. Geez, dumbass, get your wingnut conspiracy buzzwords straight. The answer is "What is PERJURY TRAP?" (No it isn't, but it's kind of in the neighborhood of plausible.)

Sorry, you didn't win that set of steak knives with a blunt end made special so you don't stab yourself in the eye while cutting meat. Please accept this red bucket hat as a consolation prize, modeled here by last week's contestant on Greedy Little Flunkies What Are Too Stupid To Even Spy Good But Think They Can Law.

BOY, BYE!

[Papadopoulos docs at Lawfare / BBC / HillTV]

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Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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Image: Marriott Hotels

Great GOP wordsmith Frank Luntz, the guy who gave us the "death tax" and who urged the George W. Bush administration to talk about "climate change" since it was less politically motivating than "global warming," did some more of his characteristic word magic today! While staying at the Hotel Imperial in Vienna, Austria, Luntz offered this cautionary tale about the evils of socialism, as illustrated by the shoddy conditions in a 5-star luxury hotel owned by Dubai's "Al Habtoor" conglomerate and operated by Marriott:

Talk about your grim hellholes! Apparently, there's only one elevator in the entire building, and it's been broken for three days, proving that European-style socialism is a failure that should never be imported to the USA, where -- damn it! -- all buildings work!

As some smartass pointed out, now Luntz may have to take the STAIRS, like a common Bolshevik!

We're still trying to get our heads around how a delay in getting an elevator fixed in a luxury hotel owned by the United Arab Emirati proprietors of Dubai's

  • Habtoor Grand Resort
  • Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah
  • Habtoor Palace, LXR Hotels & Resorts
  • V Hotel, Curio Collection by Hilton
  • Hilton Dubai Al Habtoor City
  • Metropolitan Hotel Dubai
  • Al Habtoor Polo Resort

as well as

  • Imperial Hotel, a Luxury Collection Hotel, Vienna (Austria)
  • Hilton London Wembley (United Kingdom)
  • Hilton Beirut Habtoor Grand (Lebanon)
  • Hilton Beirut Metropolitan Palace (Lebanon)
  • President Abraham Lincoln Springfield – a DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel (United States)
  • InterContinental Budapest (Hungary)
  • The Ritz-Carlton, Budapest (Hungary)

is an example of the horrors of socialism, but then, we don't earn the big bucks like Luntz does. Austria is among the 14 richest countries in the world, so we're fairly certain it's not a commie hellhole. Then again, there is a very strong social safety net, so maybe people in subsidized housing stole all the elevator parts. Or perhaps the elevator would have been fixed sooner if only Austria didn't have such strong unions. It's a mystery.

Or maybe it's that NATIONAL socialism that's the problem, seeing as it has socialism RIGHT IN THE NAME!

Adolf Hitler, once a day labourer outside the Hotel Imperial Vienna, returned as the Führer and "delivered a speech to a rapturous crowd from [the hotel] suite's balcony, on 14 March 1938", according to www.famoushotels.org.

We suppose it's worth noting that the Imperial is decidedly not owned or operated by the Austrian government, where a far-Right coalition has recently imploded -- although maybe Luntz is confused about that, since official state guests are traditionally housed there. In any case, the elevator's busted, it's in Europe, Europe is socialist, and Frank Luntz is homesick for America, where no elevator ever goes unrepaired for an entire weekend. It simply has never happened because of our efficient free market!

Still, Luntz's tweet inspired some valuable reflections on how economic theory shapes the reality of everyday life. This is the kind of Austrian economics we can support.



In conclusion, capitalism always allocates resources efficiently and fairly, although that still doesn't explain why Frank Luntz has a job. And now it would be your DOKTOR ZOOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY OPEN THREAD, if only the socialists would fix the elevator, the end.

Yr Wonkette is entirely supported by donations from you, the reader. Please send us money so socialists won't make us take the stairs.

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