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George Will Does Not Care For This Smorgasbord Of Hedonist Sex Everybody's Enjoying

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Tuesday night, we saw George Will recoiling at the sight of two men hugging and Wonkette's own Ken Layne asked, "Oh, George Will,what will offend your delicate sensibilities next?" And now we have our answer. The answer is two people kissing, if they are not married.


The idea is this: people used to erupt in frenzied tantrums of shame at the mention of an awful deed like premarital sex. Now they reserve their outrage for processed foods, while salaciously teabagging each other out of wedlock.

This is bad for society, because people need to quit having so many babies when they aren't married. Plus, sex leads to AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases.

In other words, George Will has never heard of a marvelous little invention called "the condom," which provides the dual benefits of birth control and protection against various diseases.

Also, he secretly masturbates to thoughts of Betty Draper making mashed potatoes with heavy cream and butter.

Prudes at Dinner, Gluttons in Bed [The Washington Post]

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Corey Stewart, the Minnesota transplant to Virginia who's made protecting "Confederate Heritage" a top issue in his campaign for the US Senate, accused a nosy New York Times reporter of breaking into the apartment of one of his aides. It's a terrific accusation, because while there's no evidence at all and the story makes no damn sense, that doesn't matter at all to people who'd vote for Corey Stewart. They already hate the evil media and know those nasty reporters are capable of all the depravity in the world.

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Hey, remember that hilarious time when Paul Ryan and Kevin McCarthy got caught on tape joking that LOL, Donald Trump and Congressman Dana Rohrabacher were totally on Putin's payroll? WaPo got the goods:

"There's two people I think Putin pays: Rohrabacher and Trump," McCarthy (R-Calif.) said, according to a recording of the June 15, 2016 exchange, which was listened to and verified by The Washington Post.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher is a Californian Republican known in Congress as a fervent defender of Putin and Russia.House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) immediately interjected, stopping the conversation from further exploring McCarthy's assertion, and swore the Republicans present to secrecy.

It's funny 'cause it's true! ALLEGEDLY. Earlier this month, Congressman Lubyanka Rohrabacher told Fox reporter Elex Michaelson that DNC hack was obviously an inside job.

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