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Southern-splaining.


BREAKING NEWS, a wingnut governor is not being totally awful! Georgia Gov. Nathan Deal -- a Republican -- announced in a presser Monday morning, the very day after our risen Christ done rosed again, that he will veto Georgia House Bill 757, one of the most insane anti-gay "religious freedom" bills ever to be debated in this great US and A.

The governor ticked off a list of terrible things put-upon fundamentalist Christians have been forced to endure since the Supreme Court throatcrammed the whole nation with gay marriage-y goodness. A photographer in New Mexico who was crucified got in trouble for failing to shoot a lesbian wedding. A cake baker in Colorado who was fed dick-first to a lion got in trouble for failing to frost a gay wedding. However, he said, "I am not aware of a single instance" of those sorts of things happening in Georgia, specifically because his state doesn't have silly liberal "human rights" laws like Colorado and New Mexico.

Deal did have some shade to throw at the whiny crybabies on the religious Right who are pretty sure gay marriage is the biggest threat to their existence:

In light of our history, I find it somewhat ironic that some in the religious community today feel that it is necessary for government to confer on them certain rights and protections. ... Perhaps we should simply heed the hands-off admonition of the First Amendment of the constitution. [...]

I do not think that we have to discriminate against anyone to protect the faith-based community in Georgia.

WHOA IF TRUE!

So how terrible was this bill? IT WAS A DOOZY. It had the traditional things in it about how if you're a Jesus-fondling cake-froster, you shouldn't be forced to take money from homosexuals who want to eat your Jesus cakes at their yucky sinful gay "wedding." But it was written so broadly that some say it could have protected organizations like the KKK from having to provide services to people they don't like (pssst, they don't like black people). And even in Georgia these days, that is considered bad!

Deal signaled weeks ago that his Republican self just might not be too keen on this bill, considering how the business community was already up in arms about it, threatening to take their corporate moneys elsewhere if the state passed its own version of what we around these parts like to call Fuck The Gays laws.

But that was before the $1.7 billion per year film and TV industry in Georgia started making murmurs about how maybe Georgia and its peaches could fuck themselves to death if this law was signed. Also too:

Executives from dozens of big-name companies, including Disney, Apple, Time Warner, Intel and Salesforce, called on the governor to veto the bill. The NFL warned it could risk Atlanta’s bid for the Super Bowl and the NCAA hinted it could influence the state’s ability to host championship games. And Deal’s office said two economic development prospects have already abandoned Georgia because of the legislation.

Deal said in Monday's presser that these threats weren't why he vetoed the legislation. In fact, he specifically said, "I don't respond well to insults or threats." But we think he is lying.

We have splained you a thousand times, this shit is about money. When Indiana passed its fucked up religious freedom restoration act (RFRA) last year, the business community lost its shit. When Arkansas tried to do the same, Walmart, that paragon of liberalism, lost its shit.

Anti-gay wingnuts cannot handle how their dumbass gay-hatin' laws are actually fucking terrible for business, but oh well, they are. And in the Republican three-legged stool of "family values," big bidness and whatever the third thing is, big bidness will fuck fake "family values" in the ass Every. Single. Time.

At the end of his press conference, right before he said the magic words about how he's going to fuck up that anti-gay bill with his veto pen, Deal said this:

Georgia is a welcoming state. It is full of loving, kind and generous people. [...] I believe that that is our best side.

That. Is the character. OF GEORGIA.

And then he left, like a common Julia Sugarbaker.

[Atlanta Journal Constitution]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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