Just keep watching, the payoff is worth it. Will Guam "tip over and capsize" if 8,000 Marines and their families move there? Hmmm, let's see, just give us a moment to consider the question .... ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? This is U.S. Representative Hank Johnson, D-Georgia. And there's a sad reason for his confusion, which will make you sad for laughing. But still!

Oh dear god is he crazy, senile, brain-damaged, or all three? Is this performance art? Ha ha, no of course not, now that this video clip has become God's real-life April Fools Joke (lol, humans). Now Hank Johnson said he only meant this as, of course, "a metaphor." A metaphor for being a long-winded idiot, in Congress. Also, congressman, the word you're looking for is "narrow," the "narrowest" part of the island, jesus fucking christ.

But maybe there's a medical issue? Right-wing blog Powerline -- there's a likely defender of a black Democratic congressman! -- says Johnson has Hep-C and that causes confusion. Well, that's sad, and certainly not unique in the Halls of Congress, but maybe the dude needs to take medical leave. [Creative Loafing]