Georgie Papadopoulos Decides He Doesn't Want To Go To Jail On Monday, LOL 'K?
Happy Thanksgiving, Wonkers! Let's celebrate by watching Robert Mueller kick George Papadopoulos in the nuts over and over and over again. That guy is so goddamn stupid that we almost feel sorry for him. But then we remember that he helped get that Orange Menace elected, and we snap right out of it.
When last we left Lil Papi, he had pleaded guilty to lying to the FBI, waived his right of appeal, and agreed to report to jail for 14 days starting November 26. He was very ashamed about telling the FBI he only met with those Russians before the campaign, when he meant to say, "After I joined the campaign, this Russian professor guy and some lady who said she was Vladimir Putin's niece were all over me, dude."
But then the wingnuttosphere got hold of Young George and confused him with big words like "entrapment" and "withdrawal of plea" and "conspiracy." Also, George's wife, Simona, who is so BUGFUCK INSANE that the wise Editrix is convinced she's actually a spy, started whispering in her dim husband's ear that he could ... something. Who the hell knows! That woman is CRAAAAAAAZY.
The National Review loons ran the
same play with Michael Flynn, suggesting that he was just about to withdraw his plea and blow the whole lid off the Mueller conspiracy. Only Flynn's not a complete idiot, so he just mopped up the wingnut Ameros and kept on cooperating.
But Georgie P is the whole package. So he spent the past two months shaking his moneymaker on Fox and tweeting stupid shit about Robert Mueller.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNN!
OMG, is George Papadopoulos Q????
Oh, but we are silly. Back to lawsplaining.
George's new lawyers haven't got around to attempting to withdraw his plea. (Which would be absofuckinglutely idiotic, since the stuff he admitted to in exchange for that short sentence would be admissible evidence in any further prosecution.) Instead they're asking the judge to prettyplease keep their client out of jail while a third challenge to Mueller's authority works its way through the courts.
However, the D.C. Circuit's decision in the pending appeal in In re: Grand Jury Investigation may directly impact the validity of Mr. Papadopoulos's prosecution and conviction. The appeal challenges the constitutionality of the appointment of Special Counsel Robert S. Mueller III (the "Special Counsel"). If the appeal is successful, then the Special Counsel lacked constitutional authority to prosecute Mr. Papadopoulos in the first instance. Given that the appeal in In Re Grand Jury Investigation has been fully briefed and argued, a modest stay of his incarceration pending the outcome of that appeal should be granted.
Yeah, they're pinning their hopes on Roger Stone's flunky Andrew Miller, who refused to testify before the grand jury so he could prove that Robert Mueller is ILLEGAL. This bullshit failed when Manafort tried it, and it didn't work when the Russian troll farmers tried it, but this time Stone's lackey is totally going to stick it to Mueller. You bet!
After they finished rolling their eyes and sighing, the Mueller team put on their steel-toed boots and took aim at Shorty P's janglies. First they reminded the judge what a liarfuckingliar the defendant is. Then they moved on to pointing out that the defendant can't ask for a stay pending appeal because there is no appeal pending in his case.
The defendant first argues that he should be "release[d] pending appeal." However, there is no pending appeal in this case. The defendant's time to file any appeal expired on September 25, 2018, fourteen days after the entry of judgment. Moreover, the defendant expressly waived his rights to appeal a sentence within the statutory range, which he received. [Citations omitted.]
Then they pointed out that only an idiot would go on Twitter and bitch about having to go to jail, then show up in court claiming he's no seriously, guys not just trying to put off having to go to jail.
Following the defendant's sentencing, he made a variety of public statements that appear to be inconsistent with his stated acceptance of responsibility at sentencing. For example, on October 25, 2018, the defendant publicly tweeted that his prosecution constituted "the biggest case of entrapment!" Appearing on a national television show the next day, the defendant stated that he was "considering withdrawing his agreement" because he should not "have to serve even one day in jail for something that now it seems was completely orchestrated and I was framed[.]" Several days later, the defendant publicly tweeted: "I have been sentenced to prison in our country while having exculpatory evidence hidden from me. If I knew what I knew today, I would have never plead guilty." On November 9, 2018, the defendant tweeted, "Biggest regret? Pleading guilty[.]" [Citations omitted.]
And, oh by the way, he could have raised these issues months ago, instead of waiting until the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.
Moreover, the defendant's newly raised argument has long been available to him. The first Court opinion addressing the validity of the Special Counsel's appointment was publicly released on August 2, 2018, well in advance of his sentencing, and the litigation the defendant cites as his ostensible reason for delay has long been the subject of much public commentary. [Citations omitted.]
In conclusion, Lil Papi can pack his toothbrush and get his ass to jail on Monday as scheduled.
The defendant received what he bargained for, and holding him to it is not a hardship.
But good luck with the judge, who will no doubt be delighted to interrupt his own holiday to deal with this bullshit!
When the Republicans send their corrupt campaign hacks to collude with foreign governments and ratfuck the American electoral process, they're really not sending their best.
Unlike you, Wonkers, who are THE BEST OF ALL. So thank you, and please to kick off your holiday in this, your open thread!
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.