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Get Your Kewl Old-Timey Rags From the Mitt Romney Vintage Stores

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What must Mitt Romney do to reach the kids? How about a filter, on the iPhone? The kids know how to game that. Then maybe... t-shirts with a photograph of a Latin American leftist revolutionary? That would be sort of leftist. Okay, let's settle for totebags and stuff that look like Scooby Doo art. It's all for sale in the official Mitt Romney Vintage collection!


For $20, you can be the proud owner of this "Vintage Romney 2012 Canvas Tote," like all the Civil Rights Marchers and Feminists carried while they were fighting the cops and the patriarchy, in the 1960s.

Or how about the $35 Vintage Romney Three-Quarter Sleeve Henley, like they used to wear in Vintage times? It's like all those competitive sport athletes in the 70s and stoners in Dazed and Confused used to wear: You got the one color on the bottom, see, but then there's a different color on top, and then you put them together and it's a shirt.

Maybe you're poor, like some people were in the 60s. For only three dollars (in 2012 dollars), you can buy this photo button of Mitt Romney with his father, George, who was a politician in the 60s. He lived it!

[Mitt Romney Vintage Collection]

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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