365 ahca air strikes al franken Ari Rinkus belgium ben carson ben jacobs Betsy Devos bodyslam Britan CBO charter schools congressional budget office cybersecurity DARPA debit card fees denver discriminiation Durbin rule Eric Trump Ethics Waiver fake news full frontal G-7 Gavin Richardson Gianforte Giant of the Senate greg gianforte Guardian reporter hacking harvard law healthcare healthcare reform Heather Rinkus immigration james comey James Cordon jeff sessions jimmy kimmel Kasperky Lab manchester Mar-a-Lago mick mulvaney mike flynn montana obamacare obamacare repeal office of government ethics oge paul manafort petty offenses poverty poverty is a state of mind poverty of spirit pt News Brief racism rob quist russia Russian ambassador RyanCare RyanCare 2.0 sally yates Sam Bee samantha bee sean hannity Securablinds security clearance Segey Kislyak senate intelligence committee seth meyers Seth Rich space plane special election stephen colbert syria ted cruz Theresa May trump budget TrumpCare TrumpCare 2.0 u.k. vacation Walter Schaub warblogging! Wealthcare
Gianforte's Thug Life. Wonkagenda For Thurs., May 25, 2017
He sings folk songs.
Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.
- The GOPiece of Shit running for Montana's lone house seat, Greg Gianforte, has been charged with a misdemeanor assault after bodyslamming Guardian reporter, Ben Jacobs. The Billings Gazette, The Missoulian, and the Helena Independent Record have yanked their endorsements out from under him. Even the Fox crew states Gianforte "punched" Jacobs, and they would know because they were there!
- The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office released its report on TrumpCare 2.0, and it projects that 23 million MORE people will lose healthcare by 2026 (about 51 million people in total). Half the country will lose benefits and coverage for addiction treatment, maternity care, and mental health services, not to mention the royal screwing the elderly, the poor and children will receive. Then again, the government can save a ton of money by switching your insurance to TrumpCare/RyanCare/WealthCare!
- The spindly webs of America's spy network caught Russian officials talking about influencing Donald Trump through advisors like Mike Flynn and Paul Manafort, and whether they should use hacked documents as weapons of mass deception.
- This morning on MoJoe, Mike Barnicle stated that Michael Flynn is "in a strong position" to get immunity because he "has a story to tell" to get the investigation into Trump's pee hooker problems moving. I'm sure he does.
- James Comey was apparently duped by Russian bullshit during the campaign when he believed a fake email that said Loretta Lynch would quash the investigation into Hillary Clinton's email server.
- Jeff Sessions did not disclose his meetings with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak on his security clearance form because he met with tons of random assholes from Not America as a Senator; you can't possible expect him to remember every kraut, commie, or spy he swamped spit with.
- The Senate Intelligence Committee is expanding its investigation to include Kaspersky Lab, a Moscow-based cybersecurity firm, over concerns that they could have been pressured to hack and steal user data and documents. No jokes, that's scary stuff.
- Betsy DeVos defended the Trump budget's gutting of public education, and passed on answering a question about funding schools that discriminate, because of course she would.
- According to Ben Carson, "poverty is a state of mind," and many poor people just have a "poverty of spirit." And all this time I thought the systemic struggle of poverty was because of institutional impediments on sex, race and class, but it turns out we're all just really lazy!
- A bunch of Democrats sent Mick Mulvaney a sternly worded letter asking him to disclose ethics waivers since it makes the job of OGE that much harder to investigate exactly how crooked the Trump administration is.
- A Mar-a-Lago guest receptionist has been secretly working for the White House advance and logistics team. It's a good thing her husband isn't a two-time felon who likes to abuse his wife's dubious connection to the President.
- Republicans want to drop a rule that caps debit card fees because, gosh darn it, a bunch of lobbying groups say it makes transactions so much harder!
- DARPA wants to make a super cool space plane in an effort to get people into space in days instead of years, provided we don't all slip into some type of corporate-controlled idiocy.
- In Syria, a super special phone line for swapping hot tips about air strikes has been ringing off the the hook, and the Russians think that Trump's premature missile launch was more of an accident; it happens to every guy.
- The British are pissed that the U.S. keeps leaking information on the Manchester bombing, so it's a good thing Trump is set to meet the G-7 later today where Theresa May can give Trump a good lashing.
- Jason Chaffetz set up his new PR firm BEFORE he decided to leave the House, which makes sense considering he keeps dodging questions about going to Fox News.
- Sean Hannity lost his first advertisers, but that didn't stop him from acting like a shit heel last night before announcing he's taking "a vacation," which we all know is code for "daddy is leaving and never coming back."
- Ted Cruz is butthurt over a joke that's tucked deep inside Al Franken's new book that says he's "full of shit."
- Sally Yates talked with Harvard Law grads about that moment "when the law and conscience intersected," and she decided to be a decent human being instead of a shitty lawyer.
- GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! Denver is reducing the maximum penalty for petty offenses to less than 365 days in jail in an effort to help illegal immigrants skirt the radar of immigration authorities.
- And here's your late night wrap-up! Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at how Trump's campaign promises were bullshit; Jimmy Kimmel made many jokes about Trump and the Pope; Stephen Colbert swapped fat Trump jokes with Cartoon Pope; James Corden unveiled the horror of a a Trump GPS; and Sam Bee has a brief history of Florida's ban on felon voting. (Surprise! It's racism.)
- And here's your morning Nice Time! It's FIONA! She's four months old! Just try and hold back your tears! TRY!
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