Giant Flake Marianne Williamson Ain't No 'Major Democrat.' What's Wrong With You, AP?

Giant Flake Marianne Williamson Ain't No 'Major Democrat.' What's Wrong With You, AP?

The 2020 Democratic primary joke candidate is officially back — no, not Tulsi Gabbard, who wasn't even mildly amusing, but Marianne Williamson, who's dusted off her grift machine and officially challenged President Joe Biden for the 2024 Democratic presidential nomination. We often say that every election is the most important one in our lifetime, but even in an election with zero stakes, Williamson is hardly qualified to compete.

“I’m not putting myself through this again just to add to the conversation,” Williamson said. “I’m running for president to help bring an aberrational chapter of our history to a close, and to help bring forth a new beginning.”

Oh, screw you, lady. Uncle Joe has been there and done that already. If you haven't noticed, it's because you're a ridiculous buffoon.

Seriously, what the hell?Twitter

The Associated Press called Williamson the "first major Democrat to challenge President Joe Biden for his party's nomination," and I honestly don't know what's going on with the media these days. If your description of a vanity presidential candidate is "bestselling self-help author," they are probably not a "major Democrat." See, even if Gretchen Whitmer had written self-help books — Big Gretch's Guide To A Feistier You! — you'd probably lead with "Governor of Michigan," an actual state rather than the "state of zen" or whatever woo-woo crap Williamson sells suckers with too much disposable income.


Let's Hope Marianne Williamson's Big News Is That She's Starting A Scented Candle MLM

Marianne Williamson Levitates Out Of Presidential Race

Will Weissert at the Associated Press claims that Williamson "brought quirky spiritualism to the 2020 presidential race." It would annoy me if someone brought "quirky spiritualism" to my dinner party, and we're not choosing the leader of the free world. Here's an example of that "quirky spiritualism," set to the theme music from "Twin Peaks":

Weissert goes on:

Williamson running against a sitting president from her own party would be the longest of long shots under any circumstances. But that’s especially true this cycle, as the Democratic establishment — and even potential presidential hopefuls who could have competed with Biden from the left or middle — has closed ranks with remarkable uniformity behind the president.

Williamson is not an elected Democrat. This is not a challenge from Biden's own party, but a transparent fundraising cash grab from a shameless opportunist. Serious Democrats aren't competing against Biden because he's an incumbent president with a successful record, so it's more important to focus on keeping Donald Trump out of the White House until Satan finally picks up his garbage.

Williamson is a kook without any relevant solutions to the nation's problems. Perhaps recognizing her own limitations, she suggested that policy positions and well-reasoned plans for governing were for nerds. She said, "It's really nice that [the other Democratic candidates have] all these plans, but if you think we're going to beat Donald Trump by just having all these plans, you've got another thing coming."

Biden did in fact have plans and managed to beat Trump silly without levitating crystals or some other goofy shit. Weissert doesn't mention COVID-19 once in his article, which is quite the omission. Williamson dropped out of the race in January just a few weeks before the first confirmed COVID-19 case in the United States. A global pandemic that killed more than a million Americans should've convinced us to not waste time on anti-science candidates who scoff at "plans." (She was anti-vax before all the other idiots on the political stage.) Marianne Williamson is a joke that simply isn't funny anymore.

[Associated Press]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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