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Sup North Carolina? Yer gettin' ready to vote on Amendment 1, which bans gay marriage (which is already banned) in addition to straight and gay civil unions and domestic partnerships? Sounds like a fun amendment! Good job, you guys, way to stick it to ... well, your 200,000 straight citizens who are in domestic partnerships already, in addition to the 25,000 or something godless sodomites. Very modern-ages of you guys! Not at all sad and medieval! Too bad that lie-beral Supreme Court outlawed outlawing sodomy itself in Lawrence, you could put those icky sexers in jail, like in Ye Olde Oscar Wilde Days! But do other people have opinions about your Amendment 1, like maybe Newt Gingrich? We would really like to hear what Newt Gingrich thinks before we totally make up our minds that Amendment 1 is the best, most important Amendment and one that we should send $5 to, and that it is filled with laughter and love and hope for The Children, who I believe are the Future! Oh good, Newt Gingrich DOES have an opinion! He thinks marriage is between a man and a woman! But we feel like there is something important about that statement, that it maybe leaves something out. We wish we could remember what that important something might be.

Something something, Saul Alinsky (because duh), Thomas Jefferson, we are all endowed by our Creator except for gays, because they do sex in men's bottoms YUCK!

Marriage between a man and a woman is at the heart of our civilization. It's a belief that is now under attack, yet it's at the very core of defining who we are. That's why I urge you to vote for the initiative right here in North Carolina. The chance to vote for a referendum to declare clearly that marriage is between a man and a woman.

This is part of the same great process this year that's involved with President Obama, and that's involved with the whole danger of what's happening to our basic beliefs. There's an effort by radicals at every level to change who we are, to change what America is and to change for our children into a future that I think will be much worse.

This is your chance to turn out and vote and vote for preserving America, and to vote for preserving a very basic institution.

OH WE REMEMBER NOW. It is that Newt keeps divorcing his wives for his mistresses as soon as they get sick! We feel like that should have been harder to forget!


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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