If there is one thing you will learn from the workplace accident documentary Extract, it is that losing one ball is the sweet spot in any work-injury claim. Lose both, and the jury can't identify with you, as they themselves would never -- could never -- be similarly unmanned. Lose neither, and why are they giving you money again? But lose one, and you are still a man, just barely, your masculinity hanging by a delicate thread.

But what if you have both nuts extant, but they have been fried beyond redemption by gamma rays from Mars or whatever because some insane billionaire Newt Gingrich backer insists you x-ray his mail and that lead aprons are for pussies? Well, some stupid peons are trying to find out!

Tell us about your bollocks, good sirs.

Two security guards for casino mogul Sheldon Adelson claim in court that they became sterile after being required to use an X-ray machine to inspect the billionaire's daily mail.

Vincent Burlingame and Richard Carty sued Adelson in Clark County Court.

They claim that Adelson, chairman of the board and CEO of Las Vegas Sands Corp., bought the X-ray machine in 2011 and required them to X-ray "any and all mail that arrived at the home."

Burlingame and Carty were among nine security guards who sued Adelson in June 2011, claiming they were not paid overtime.

In their new lawsuit, the men claim that Adelson, whose wealth is estimated at $20.5 billion, was fined by OSHA for not maintaining the X-ray machine and for failing to ensure users' safety.

Why should Sheldon Adelson have had to provide lead aprons or maintain his X-ray machine? What is this, communist China? Who is the government to tell a 20-times-over billionaire he has to spend like a thousand bucks or whatever on machine maintenance? TYRANNY.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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