Giuliani Witness Mellissa Carone Is Back And Very Concerned About Dead Baby Parts
Remember Mellissa Carone, the definitely-not-drunk witness Rudy Giuliani trotted out while trying to prove that voter fraud happened in Michigan? Who was definitely not lying about 10,000 ballots being secretly shipped in through food trucks because she, like, signed an affidavit and you can't do that if you're lying?
Well ... she's running!! Sort of. She's running for Michigan's 46th House District in Oakland County, a district she doesn't live in and which might not even exist after redistricting happens. Carone actually announced this back in late January, apparently, but I either missed it or blocked it out, probably the latter. She has been endorsed in this effort by pillow salesman Mike Lindell and by Roger Stone.
On Friday, Carone went on Facebook live and ranted for an entire hour on a variety of subjects, including the vaccine, the aborted fetuses she thinks are in the vaccine, the mark of the beast that she also thinks is in the vaccine, the amount of states we're gonna find out Donald Trump won in a landslide, and, of course, how we are in the end times.
MI congress candidate Mellisa Carone, who has endorsements from Lindell and Stone, gained notoriety as Rudy’s star… https://t.co/9fcaCvGCXr— Ron Filipkowski (@Ron Filipkowski) 1627731267.0
Transcript via Daily Kos:
This is an experimental vaccine that has aborted baby tissue in it. This right here, this is solid evidence, we are definitely in the end times. Look at what they are doing in other countries. They're having … they're … they're putting people in camps. What do people not understand here? I mean is this … I … I … I can't even believe it. It is the end of times. It is in the Bible. Um. This, this has something to do with, I believe, the mark of the beast. I do. Um. It … it is … I mean every sign is there. Um.
I swear to God, I really do wish that she were doing a bit because if she were doing a bit it would be a great bit. Particularly with the valley girl accent she somehow developed living in Michigan.
Carone may not have a great understanding of where it is she plans to run for office, but that doesn't mean she won't win. She's running as a Republican, and Republicans have proven time and time again that this is exactly the shit they want to vote for. They are very specifically looking at someone who would be perfectly at home standing on a street corner, ringing a bell and wearing a "The End Is Nigh" sandwich board. Like the theme song to Flashdance, when it comes to kookiness in prospective Republican candidates, too much is not enough.
Hell, sometimes I wish I had fewer scruples because I could absolutely make so much money faking this shit. Or successfully convince them to fear the wrath of The Pentaverate.
The thing I do wonder about though (other than the accent) is why she is even bothering to run when she believes so deeply that it is extraordinarily easy to rig elections in Michigan? Isn't she concerned that the food/vote delivery could show up again? Seems like a real waste of time if that's the case.
This is now your OPEN THREAD!
Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.
Wonkette is independent and fully funded by readers like you. Click below to tip us!
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse