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Glenn Beck Literally (Like... Actually Literally) Boils A Frog On His Glenn Beck Show

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Oh... god. Apparently someone taught Glenn Beck a metaphor, and already, there has been one known death. You see, Obama, he's like throwing frogs in a pot of boiling water. This part of the metaphor stands in for Health Care. You dig? But John McCain, a completely random human who actually has had very little to do with the public health care debate, would never do something so gay, ever, as to force America to eat some pondwater consommé. John McCain HATES the French delicacy of Gay Soup. No, he would put the frog in regular water and slowly bring it to a boil. This part of the metaphor also represents Health Care. Ha, it is confusing! Let's actually boil something alive, for clarity.

Obviously this minor rhetorical point would be impossible to understand unless Beck were to throw an actual living creature in boiling water, on television. Never has anyone been more surprised than Glenn Beck upon realizing the Metaphor Frogs are far, far more reliable than whatever piece of shit sold to him by the pet store that can't even die on cue.

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