Glenn Beck Knows Why

Glenn Beck Knows Why

If you live in America this week, you've probably been asking "why"? And if you're a normal American, you're doing so with a heavy heart and wondering if this country will ever take responsibility for itself enough to shiv the gun lobby and finally stand up and say we'd rather our children not be mowed down by bullets at school.

But of course, if you are a Republican politician or pundit, you are trying to find the answer to literally any and every other question besides those things, because if you ever looked down and really stared at the blood on your hands, if you ever experienced that kind of self-awareness, you might never recover.

So here is Glenn Beck. Are you a conservative Republican and you are trying to figure out why? Listen to Glenn Beck. He knows why.

GLENN BECK: Do you know in the 1960s, a kid could go in and buy a handgun and I mean a kid. I could have sent my kid with a note, that said, “Hey, I want him to pick up this gun for me and a box of bullets.” And I'm not even sure you needed the note.

The ... good old days?

BECK: So why weren't kids killing everybody? I don't know.

Wonkette correction: Glenn Beck does not know why. Delete blog post.

Oh wait, yes he does, undelete, undelete!

BECK: Because, as sick as we were there, the system, the center held because there was something that was uniting us to truth and decency. That's gone.

Where did it go, Glenn?

BECK: All the world's problems, all of America's problems, they are not disconnected from each other. What the Fed has done is tied right directly to the school.

Interest rates ... is why mass shootings?

BECK: Wokeness? We're tied directly to.

Wokeness is why?

BECK: Hatred? Tied directly to it. CRT, bathrooms that anybody can use, all of these things are all tied together.

People going to the bathroom is why? Critical Race Theory is why?

BECK: They are not separate. And until you're willing to have that conversation, the rest of it is bull crap.

Everything else is bull crap! But the things Glenn mentioned are why. We have the Fed and the bathroom and the Critical Race Theory and the hatred. These are all why.

Glenn is right that several of the things he mentioned are related. (Interest rates are the outlier.) You see, BY FAR most politically motivated murders are committed by white male supremacists. All mass shootings are committed with guns, and that's obviously one of the "whys" Glenn doesn't want to talk about, but when he starts bitching about "wokeness" and "CRT" and how the potty is a danger zone, those manufactured mediocre loser white boy outrages do indeed motivate rightwing extremist mass murder.

Of course, Glenn probably doesn't want us to talk about that, because this week's mass murder wasn't explicitly politically motivated like last week's mass murder and so many of the others. And that sucks, because Glenn is almost there when it comes to understanding why.

But again also it's also guns.

Because whether a mass shooter is a diaper-shitting Great Replacement Theory weenus who's been radicalized by the internet or by Tucker or whatever else, or whether it's somebody who's become a sick murdering fuck for some other reason, none of them would have been able to do it so easily if they didn't have such easy access to alllllll theeeeeese fuuuuuuuucking guuuuuuuuuuns.

Yes, we know Glenn said back in his day your mom poured herself a bucket of Scotch and drove all the children without seatbelts down to the store at the bottom of the hill and said "Sonny! Go inside and get me a pack of Vantage 100s and some liquor and five guns and one-hundred bullets and a bunch of new underpants!" And you did it. Because you weren't woke.

But Glenn is just babbling and can fuck off, so OPEN THREAD.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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