Glitchy Obamacare Websites Basically Like That Time George Bush Mission Accomplished Iraq And Also Katrina


Are you having trouble keeping track of all the stupendously mind-numbingly bad Obamacare analogies? Yes, it is just like Hitler. No, it is not an iPhone. It is sort of like Green Eggs and Ham. Well, thanks to National Journal's Very Serious Columnist Ron Fournier, we have a new one to melt our brains like a white-bread-and-Kraft-singles sandwich grilling on the hood of a Chevy Pinto in August:

"Just like Katrina, when the big problem President Bush had was diminishing the significance of what was happening, saying ‘Hey, way to go, Brownie,’—you had the president yesterday talking about glitches and kinks. This is bigger than glitches and kinks," Fournier said on MSNBC, as quoted by Mediate. "The one difference was Katrina was a storm, the health care law was Obama’s creation."

Fournier then added, "Maybe the Iraq War is a better analogy."

Um, sure. Okay. That makes perfect sense, what with the president heckuva jobbing Kathleen Sebelius, who personally wrote the code for the Obamacare websites ergo IMPEACH!, in between birthday cake photo-ops with John McCain. Except -- oh wait, that didn't happen. Maybe Fournier is right, and the Iraq War is a better analogy -- if you allow Fournier to ignore that stuff Fournier said about how the media really ought to get over the way George Bush clusterfucked Iraq and instead remember that he was a pretty awesome bro.

Still, it's hard to deny the similarities between website glitches for a program to expand health care coverage to millions of Americans who were previously unable to obtain or afford it on account of pre-existing conditions like being alive and stuff, and shock-and-awing a country because its leader one time tried to kill the president's dad. Obama also healthcared the wrong country and now can't find even find the WMD in his Holocausty exchanges. Just like Bush! In fact, when you think about it, have you ever seen Obamacare and Iraq in the same room? No? That is because they are the same thing basically except not at all! Whoa, man, it's practically ironic like spoons on your wedding day.

And it's not just Fournier who sees the trippy similarities. Nicolle Wallace, who used to work for Bush so you know she is totally unbiased, derped in with these deep thoughts:

"The notion he's sitting and watching from the residence of the White House and says, 'Oh, gosh, that didn't go well' just rings really strange to people," she said.

Gah, don't you just hate when the president sits around doing nothing at all and doesn't even personally try to fix IT problems? Is he not the Programmer-in-Chief? We all know how Bush personally sat back in the residence and watched people dying for his Freudian revenge porn and then made HI-larious jokes about being completely wrong about those WMDs he was so certain we'd find because that is real leadership. Now ObamaIraqcare is going to kill thousands of our troops and countless Iraqis, and dumb ol' non-commander-guy Obama won't even put on a flight suit and prance around on a real big boat, which, as Wallace says, "is totally off-putting, and it does not have a whiff of leadership to it." Yeah, Obama, why don't you stink like Bush did? Er, or something.



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