This might be the greatest, most convincing website we have ever read. Gays must be denied domestic partnership benefits for the simple reason that dogs do not MOO.

Get it? No? We'll go slowly:

Dogs bark.

Dogs do not moo.

Cows moo.

"Meet the ex-gay penguins."

Therefore: We mustn't let Sherman marry John Stossel's cousin.

(No word yet on whether Cal Thomas can marry his cat).

No-Moo-Lies [Focus on the Family via HuffPo]