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No. Really. Just go fuck yourself, you racist piggy white power pieces of shit. You wear shirts that laugh about lynching reporters. (That smarts!) You scream "nigger" at men who turn out to be goddamn saints while you're whitesplaining them the fucking Boondocks. You teach your kids to tell their classmates how great life will be once they're deported. You beat up homeless people, for Jesus and America too.


And you think it's fucking adorable.

Did you #rig it? Fuck! Maybe! I've always been a little partial to the Alex Jones side of the sanity spectrum, but forgive me if I wonder: I didn't see Anonymous riding to Hillary Clinton's rescue, when four years ago they taunted Karl Rove that they'd trapped his little vote rats in the internet tubes. (Yeah, "citation needed," Anonymous.) And we all know Trump loves to accuse people of every thing he's doing himself. Besides, you'll never convince me John Kerry lost Ohio in 2004. Oh, should I not say that in polite wonky company, if I want to keep my cool pundit card? WELL FUCK POLITE WONKY COMPANY, THAT WAS 'WONKY' AS SHIT.

Let's talk about all the things that will be terrible now! BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE EVIL AND EVERYONE SUCKS.

Are you a black person? I'm sorry, everyone hates you, like, personally :(

Are you Latina? Chica, lo siento!

Do you like doing things in #butts with your husband, who is a man? The next four justices just deported your adopted baby back to Cambodia, too bad, it was nice while it lasted.

Are you just a regular straight old boring ass white person, and the cops don't roust you none, but you also like eating food and having shelter? WELL DONALD TRUMP JUST BREXITED YOUR STOCK MARKET, and he'll do for the country what he did for his casinos.

And his airline.

And his steak.

And his magazine.

He lost fucking money on LIQUOR.

And he doesn't know jack shit about ANYTHING, and say goodbye to that last white-knuckled grasp on the middle class. Oh, you care about "the debt"? He just blew it up by FIVE. TRILLION. DOLLARS. He promised to treat the country's bondholders like he treated the people who paid off his bankruptcies: by not paying them shit. Hello, Greece! Is life fun there under Nazis?

But sure, "economic anxiety," you sister-raping neanderthals. Enjoy your brother-in-law's meth trailer.

Did you like that 4.5 percent unemployment rate? Did you like being able to buy yourself a treat when you went to stock up on toothpaste at Walgreens, and saying to yourself, HEY LOOK, I BOUGHT ME A TREAT? Yeah, fuck a treat, you don't get your retirement fund, and no mortgage payment, and no job.

Women? Lol, honey, don't make that face. It's so ugly on you, that persona. Also: you don't matter, and you never will.

Muslims? It's Tuesday. Prepare for your beating.

Media? Oh, yours is coming. Mighta thought about that when you were playing footsie with James Comey.

Oh shit, I almost forgot about Obamacare! Now, if you're like us, you won't be able to buy insurance for your family! Instead we'll get repealed and replaced with "the lines around the states!"

This dumb fucking fuck.

I deny that a woman like Hillary Clinton lost to that monstrous Horror Klown for any reason besides THIS COUNTRY IS HORRIBLE. Fuck your bullshit emails, fuck your bullshit FBI, fuck your bullshit "she ran a bad campaign; she was a dud and he was exciting." The man is a rambling, boring toddler. If they "loved him," it wasn't for his charisma, it was for his flat-out fascism, BECAUSE THEY ARE LIZARD-BRAINED PEOPLE WHO LOVE TORTURING OTHERS.

They get off on it. It fucking gets them off.

Oh man and do they haaaaate us women. Oh man, a bossy old bitch wasn't going to tell them what to do! And that glass ceiling at the Javits Center. Oh, haw haw haw.

This is where I fake some Pollyanna bullshit to leave you on some uplift, and it'll make you share this post.

NOPE. THIS POST IS RAZOR BLADES AND HUMAN SHIT AND KILLING EACH OTHER SID & NANCY STYLE.

Come back tomorrow for some pony bullshit, I might be able to fake it for you by then.

Now buy my fucking FUCK YOU AMERICA shirt while you still have any fucking money left.

You stupid fucking dicks.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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