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The Washington Post reports that Anthony Kennedy is retiring from the Supreme Court, effective July 31. Kennedy is the "swing vote" whose swing lately has been all about letting Trump ban Muslims (national security), killing unions (First Amendment), saving Christianity from gay cakes (First Amendment again), saving crisis pregnancy centers from having to say they don't have medical personnel on staff (what a busy First Amendment!), and murdering voting rights (no reason). And that's all just in the past week.

Good fucking riddance, Anthony Kennedy.


Now Donald Trump will have the opportunity to appoint a second justice, in addition to the guy who said a company can fire you for refusing to stay in an unheated truck in a snowstorm and freeze to death. We expect Supreme Court nominee Larry Klayman to make his bow any day, or else someone worse if we can think of any.

Chuck Schumer, a word. IF YOU DON'T FILIBUSTER ANY AND ALL NOMINEES SHORT OF BARACK OBAMA OR THE GHOST OF EUGENE DEBS, YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ANTHONY KENNEDY THE FUCK OUT THE DOOR. I don't care if Mitch McConnell threatens to end the filibuster if you don't deal. LET HIM. THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK IT'S FOR. THE FASCISTS ARE IN THE GODDAMN HOUSE, AND THEY'RE TAKING IT APART BRICK BY BRICK AND GRAFFITIING "I REALLY DON'T CARE, DO U?" OVER THE BABY'S CRIB, WHICH IS A CAGE NOW.

UPDATE! Lol, my bad, Mitch McConnell already killed the filibuster for the Supreme Court.

Do your fucking job, Schumer. Grow a fucking backbone BUT VITE. DO NOT LET THEM CONFIRM A REPLACEMENT BEFORE MERRICK GARLAND GETS TO VOTE. What was it Mitch McConnell said, the people need a chance to weigh in? GEE I WONDER IF HE WILL CHANGE HIS WHISTLING DIXIE.

And Anthony Kennedy, it's a 9-0 vote of go fuck yourself.

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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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There could still be a partial shutdown of the government starting Saturday if Congress doesn't pass a budget bill in time, but at least Donald Trump has caved, yet again, on what last week he insisted was absolutely completely necessary to keep the government open. You might remember it -- dude said he'd be PROUD to shut down the government and take credit for it if he didn't get $5 billion to build the thing. Today, he's more like MEH, what wall, he can fund it some other way, maybe, honestly, who cares, it's time for golf, isn't it? Whatever his thinking, Trump has dropped the wall-funding ultimatum, though there's still no budget deal, because congressional Democrats aren't about to take Mitch McConnell's crappy alternative offer, either.

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December 18. One week before Christmas. In a normal and just and sane world, the news cycle would be dying and we'd be decking the halls and trying to find dumb things to write about just to make YOU DINGBATS happy. (Christmas week in 2015 we wrote about an idiot rightwing Christian extremist named Bryan Fischer, who thinks dinosaurs in the Bible were really just VERY OLD GRANDMA BIBLE LIZARDS.) But alas, Barack Obama is no longer president, so the shitshow continues.

Donald Trump is, of course, about to head off on vacation, from his ... paid vacation in Washington. Basically he's just transferring his voluminous ass to a different gold-plated toilet so he can do his Twitter-shits in a sunnier climate. Regardless, Gabe Sherman reports that the White House is on edge, because OH SHIT, PRESIDENT TINKLE SMELLS WILL BE WITHOUT AN ADULT CHAPERONE FOR TWO WEEKS, THIS IS VERY, VERY BAD.

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