God Gives Up Rush Limbaugh For Lent

Rush Limbaugh is now a dead person. He was 70, finally succumbing to late stage lung cancer.

Rush Limbaugh was a garbage human being, and perhaps did more to infect American politics with hatred, misogyny, and racist and homophobic bile than any other recently living American. Before Fox News really got going poisoning an entire generation of white racist brains, Rush Limbaugh was there on the radio doing it, making white grandmas giggle at terms like "Femi-Nazi" and keeping white daddies just road-ragey enough at Black people to make their afternoon commutes worthwhile.

Here's a quote from Rush Limbaugh:

If any race of people should not have guilt about slavery, it's Caucasians.

He called now-Vice President Kamala Harris a "ho." He whined recently that "[M]ore and more young women in this country are becoming nothing more than hoods. Your average ne'er-do-well in the 'hood — white women." You know, because there are Black Lives Matter signs in predominantly white neighborhoods. He was performatively grossed out by Pete Buttigieg kissing his husband. Ewwwwww gross, Rush explained, asking his listeners how that would play on a debate stage next to "Mr. Man" Donald Trump.

He called Sandra Fluke, then a 30-year-old law student who testified in Congress in support of contraception mandates, a "slut" and a "prostitute." He blamed the lessening of men's penis sizes — his own? Only his doctors and the people at the funeral home and however many wives he had and maybe some underage Dominican boys, never really quite knew the truth there — on the "feminazis, the chickification" of society. He was also very upset about the "feminizing" and "chickifying" of football.

He said Robin Williams killed himself because of his "political leftist" guilt.

He said a good way to prevent AIDS would be "do not ask another man to bend over and make love at the exit point. That's what you don't do." Indeed, he used to deliver a regular "AIDS update," where he played Dionne Warwick's "I'll Never Love That Way Again" and made fun of gays dying of it.

He called Barack Obama "Barack the Magic Negro." And then-12-year-old Chelsea Clinton a "dog."

He defended Bill Cosby on air when the rape allegations started to hit.

He got SUPER mad and threatened to get litigious when the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee (DCCC) quoted these words of his verbatim:

How many of you guys, in your own experience with women, have learned that "no" means "yes," if you know how to spot it?

He really, really, really hated how liberals always focused on the "consent" part of sex.

It's not that Rush Limbaugh never contributed anything of value to America, unless you think exposing Barack Obama's nefarious plot to destroy Real America by attacking it with mobs of lesbian farmers didn't have value. "So here comes the Obama regime with a bunch of federal money and they're waving it around, and all you gotta do to get it is be a lesbian and want to be a farmer and they'll set you up," said Rush, out loud where people could hear him. "I never knew that lesbians wanted to get behind the horse and the plow and start burrowing," he added, somehow making it even creepier.

In 2015, he was FURIOUS about a study that showed that teenagers weren't having as much sex, bemoaning what we've "turned boys into," that's right, loser teenage boys don't even put out anymore:

They are either bullies, or predators, or brutes, or they are pajama boys! Timid, metrosexuals, feminists in their own minds, playing now a secondary role, because they have been made to feel guilty over the transgressions that men have committed previously. So now they are drugged up, in order to keep them quiet and content and out of everybody's way, and while they're drugged up they're watching video games, some of them violent, some of them pornographic.

We don't know if this rant was subconsciously related to the time Limbaugh was caught coming back from noted underage sex tourism hotspot the Dominican Republic with a mislabeled prescription containing 29 tabs of Viagra. We'd be remiss not to mention that in his obituary, though. Twice.

Oh yeah, and one time Limbaugh got the Medal of Freedom from the most hated loser president in American history, who lost the popular vote by millions in both his elections, who was impeached twice, and who incited a domestic terrorist attack on the US Capitol to try to keep his illegitimate hold on power. In other words, it doesn't fucking count.

Rush Limbaugh is survived by the steaming snail trail of shit, lies, racism, misogyny, and pig-ignorance he left in the wake of his godforsaken life.

In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to some nonprofit organization, any nonprofit organization, that serves as a negation to his entire life's work.

[AP obit]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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