Gohmert Blames Deep State For Making Him Attend QAnon Loonapalooza

Conspiracy theories
Gohmert Blames Deep State For Making Him Attend QAnon Loonapalooza

Three guesses which GOP lawmaker was at this weekend's QAnon Qonspiracy Qonfab in Texas along with Michael Flynn, Sidney Powell, and various other conspiracy dipshits?

That's right, it's everyone's favorite Gomer, the Nincompoop of Nacogdoches, America's Dumbest Congressman Louie Gohmert. And although Flynn is getting all the headlines, let's not ignore the fact that it's qualitatively worse for a member of the House of Representatives to be flogging conspiracies than a retired general and a wacko lawyer who is (still! inexplicably!) a member of the bar in good standing.

This is perhaps why a member of Gohmert's staff initially denied reports that his boss was addressing the crowd in Dallas in front of a giant WWG1WGA banner, representing the notorious QAnon slogan "Where we go one, we go all."

See, the poor staffer was just confused, since the CBS reporter asked if Gohmert was at the event on Sunday, and he was only there on Saturday. And speaking of honest mistakes, the esteemed congressman would like you to know that he don't know nothin' 'bout the whole pedophile ring thing, but he durn sure knows that Hillary Clinton conspired with the Deep State to make Donald Trump take election help from the Russians.

"I did not know, and still do not know about a supposed QAnon event, nor did I know what the QAnon slogan was or is — or that there ever was a QAnon slogan — nor do I know who or what QAnon is," he huffed. "Sydney Powell is a friend, and I believe Gen. Flynn and George Papadopoulos were gravely wronged by corrupt, politically maneuvering senior people at the FBI and Department of Justice in conjunction with the the Hillary Clinton campaign, DNC, and others."

"I have never and do not support a military coup of our government," he added later, in case anyone was confused by his appearance alongside a guy advocating just that, or his happy schmoozing with QAnon loons who admit to having participated in breaching the Capitol on January 6.

Gohmert wowed the crowd with an anecdote about sharing a plate of meatloaf with Donald Trump and riffed on "rude" Democrats ushering in an Orwellian hellscape — "the only thing he got wrong was the year."

He even managed to inadvertently drop some truths, too, joking, "Now some of us get a little confused based on the last four-five years, 'Wait, is the executive branch to enforce laws or to make up cases and prosecute innocent people?'"

Wait 'til that guy finds out who was in charge of the Justice Department for the last four years!

Gohmert sought to downplay the January 6 attack, repeating his own debunked claim that "it wasn't just rightwing extremists" storming the Capitol. He failed to explain why he voted against a bipartisan commission to investigate the attack, which would presumably have turned up evidence of Antifa BLM agitators disguised in MAGA hats whipping the mob into a frenzy and running amok in the seat of government.

"Some of us think Pearl Harbor was the worst attack on democracy, some of us think 9/11 was the worst attack. Some of us think that those things were worse attacks on democracy," he said, suggesting that "weaponizing the FBI and the Department of Justice against one administration was an attack on democracy." Of course, Gohmert supported a congressional inquiry into the origins of the Russia investigation, not to mention the attack on Benghazi.

But consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds. And clearly Louis Gohmert, who literally thinks he got COVID from his mask, is a GALAXY BRAIN.

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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