Goodbye, Northeast United States, Can We Have Your Stuff?
Hey there, Eastern Seaboard Wonkers, we hear that you're in for a bit of weather. Andrea Mitchell is doing her show in front of a weather radar map, CNN Money is already predicting "Winners and Losers" from the possibly record-setting blizzard of '15, the usual idiots are already on Twitter going hurr-hurr-hurr there's no such thing as "global warming," and Mitt Romney is already preparing to explain why this blizzard is the only reason he'll lose in 2016.
We at Wonkette are with you in spirit, though thank Crom not actually with you in the snow, and want to remind you to hoard toilet paper, make sure your flashlight has batteries, and above all, please consider willing all your earthly wealth to Wonkette, because surely this is The End. If you do survive, you may want to consider celebrating with a kickass Elizabeth Warrenovna For the People tee shirt (in men's or women's sizes), because LAYERING, and/or a nice coffee mug, which can also be used to dig out from the snow that is piled up against your door, or as a last resort, to hurl at the feral Chihuahuas that will soon be roaming the Northeast feasting on the millions of dead.
Or you could also just curl up with a good book. That's good too. Stay safe, because we love you.
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.