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God bless Jesus, they finally did it. After dragging their feet and crying a lot and asking Adam Schiff to read just ONE MORE STORY to them before lights out, the House GOP finally named its members for the House Intelligence Committee (HPSCI), which means the committee can finally get to work. Well done, journalists, for noticing the inexplicable and stupid delay and annoying the GOP about it! (Actually, the delay was not exactly "inexplicable." We think, based on what we know about Devin Nunes, that it was their last gasp at obstruction, before finally admitting to themselves and to the Lord that the Democrats are the boss of them now.)

The big reason this was important -- besides the obvious, which is that Chairman Adam Schiff and his Democrats have WERK to do -- is that special counsel Robert Mueller really needs the official transcripts of interviews HPSCI did with Trump-Russia witnesses, so he can see exactly how many lies they told Congress and tack charges onto his already probably quite large stacks of forthcoming indictments. It's not that Mueller hasn't seen any of these transcripts before -- he likely has. It's just that, as Schiff explained to NBC News, the committee itself has to vote to allow Mueller to use them for perjury prosecutions, and Mueller has to have official copies to proceed with anything like that.

Mueller has already used lies to HPSCI in his indictment of Roger Stone and in the guilty plea from Michael Cohen. Wonkette has been thinkin' for a hot minute that A LOT of these Trump motherfuckers really boned their own pet goats right in the face when they lied to House Intel. They thought Devin Nunes would always protect them, and that they were thus above the law in Trump's America, especially the laws against lying to Congress. But Devin Nunes ain't in charge no more! What's that old expression? Oh yeah, it's THAT'S HOW THEY GITCHA!

If we were Erik Prince and Donald Trump Jr. right now, we'd probably be a little bit worried, or maybe a whole lot worried, but we are not stupid, so there's that.


NBC News reports that, once the committee officially votes on it, which will likely happen next Tuesday at the committee's first official meeting, Mueller will receive more than 50 new official transcripts, and only a whole month after Nancy Pelosi's House was seated. Adam Schiff explained, NBC further reports, that Democratic sources are saying this little stunt by the GOP may have cost Mueller significant time, and you'll pardon us for assuming that was the entire point.

We're not the only ones, either:

[House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy] is sabotaging the work of this committee at this point, I don't think there's any way you can sugarcoat it," Rep. Jackie Speier, D-Calif., said ...Wednesday on "Andrea Mitchell Reports."

Oh well, all good things must come to an end.

Anyway, Kevin McCarthy says all their delays were totally legit, mm hmm, you bet, we are through with his excuses.

The GOP lost a bunch of members, due to how they lost big in the midterms, and only got to switch in one new idiot, who will be John Ratcliffe of Texas. He'll join other luminaries like the aforementioned Devin Nunes, Mike Conaway, Michael Turner (that guy is a dipshit), and Will Hurd, who by our scientific analysis is the third least stupidest member of the GOP caucus in the House of Representatives. Also, it looks like that fucker Pete King has been kicked to the curb, because he's been term-limited off the committee and is unlikely to get a waiver, according to Politico.

No word on if ranking member Devin Nunes will be allowed to bring love cows to his committee hearings, not that we are saying he definitely has love cows, because how would we know?

Democratic side is super cool, though!

Hooray for Adam Schiff's House Intelligence Committee!

LOCK THEM UP! LOCK THEM UP! LOCK THEM UP!

Now it is your OPEN THREAD!

[NBC News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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Once upon a time... about ten years ago, a group of entirely ridiculous men burst onto the scene wearing stupid hats and telling men that wearing stupid hats and telling men that walking up to women in bars and insulting ("negging") them would get them laid. This did not last long, as women also had televisions and computers and were completely aware of these tricks as well, so when some ass came up to us in a bar and said "Hey, nice nails, are they real?" we would laugh and laugh and loudly announce "Oh my god, this guy just tried to neg me! Can you believe that shit? HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY JUST TRIED TO NEG ME!" and then refer to him as "Mystery" the whole night.

Most of the men who tried that shit only did so a few times before realizing that it wasn't going to work, and thus moved on to other things. Perhaps things that did not involve furry hats and coming off as a huge creep. We may never know, because I would assume that those who tried it are now extremely embarrassed and would never, ever admit to this to us.

Still, there were a few men willing to eat that shit up, as well as some grifters willing to take advantage of that. Said grifters tended to be extremely misogynistic and seemed more like they were teaching men how to be as despised by women as they were than teaching them how to actually be liked by women.

Some of them, like Roosh V, a creepy weirdo who actually does live in his mom's basement, actively encouraged men to rape women who were intoxicated to the point of being obviously unable to consent.

However, even that branch of the PUA tree is wilting away. Many "self-help" style PUA forums like Nextasf and RSDnation are shutting down or have already shut down. In March, Chateau Heartiste, a batshit crazy PUA turned White Nationalist/Alt-Right blog was shut down by Wordpress. This week, rape advocate Roosh V (whom you may recall once called yours truly a "Wonkette typist/clown face, would not bang") announced that he was renouncing his PUA ways and devoting himself to Jesus. He explained to the forum he manages that he would no longer be allowing anyone to discuss premarital "fornication."

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'Baby Geniuses' star Jon Voight took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim his undying love for Donald Trump, probably because there is no one left in his life who will listen to him talk about this, or anything else, in person. In this video rant, Voight encouraged members of the Republican Party, whom he apparently thinks are the only real citizens of the United States, to stand by Donald Trump and "acknowledge the truth" that he is the best President since Abraham Lincoln.


Part ONE:

People of the Republican Party, I know you will agree with me when I say our president has our utmost respect and our love. This job is not easy. For he's battling the left and their absurd words of destruction. I've said this once and I'll say this again. That our nation has been built on the solid ground from our forefathers, and there is a moral code of duty that has been passed on from President Lincoln. I'm here today to acknowledge the truth, and I'm here today to tell you my fellow Americans that our country…

Oh no, not our absurd words of destruction!

Part DEUX:

is stronger, safer, and with more jobs because our President has made his every move correct. Don't be fooled by the political left, because we are the people of this nation that is witnessing triumph. So let us stand with our president. Let us stand up for this truth, that President Trump is the greatest president since President Lincoln.

Does Jon Voight not know there have been... other presidents? Can he name them? Because really, it does not sound like it. Does he also not know that a very big chunk of the Republican Party actually does not care very much for Abraham Lincoln? Namely those defenders of Confederate statues that Trump called "very fine people?" Also, did he intentionally diss their beloved Ronald Reagan?

Who can know? Who can even tell what he is trying to say or why he is trying to say it. He doesn't appear to have tweeted much since 2016, so I'm guessing whoever's job it was to keep him from tanking his career quit. Either that... or after filming the seventh season of Ray Donovan, he found out it's going to be canceled or his character is getting killed off or something and he is now free to be a jackass? I don't know, I haven't watched the show, although my parents are very into it and mad that I haven't watched it. Literally all I know about it is that it has something to do with Boston, because they keep mentioning that to me like it's a selling point.

It seems useless at this point to note that the people who scream their faces off about how bad it is for Hollywood celebs to support liberal causes, and how they should keep their politics to themselves, etc. etc. make a way bigger deal than normal people do whenever a Big Time Hollywood Celebrity like Jon Voight or, uh, Scott Baio, supports their cause. Mostly because they're the only ones who have elected a reality TV star and the star of Bedtime for Bonzo (who by the way, also once practically ruined a perfectly good Bette Davis movie with his bad acting. Which is not to say that Dark Victory is not fantastic and probably the best thing to watch if you want to sob your face off, but he was very bad in it.) to run the country.

But we might as well do that anyway, because it actually never stops being funny.

[Jon Voight Twitter]

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