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And now for some very serious TUT TUTTING! It's time again for Republicans to make sad words about President Treason McTraitorpants selling out the country. This time they are seriously concerned, nay even deeply troubled, that Donald Trump would stand next to Vladimir Putin and pretend the Russians didn't hack the 2016 election. These patriotic Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED! Well, not, like, upset enough to do anything about it -- not with a fascist carpooler to jam into the Supreme Court. But they've got tweets, so it's all good!


Paul Ryan, come on down! Show the baby weasels how it's done!

There is no question that Russia interfered in our election and continues attempts to undermine democracy here and around the world. That is not just the finding of the American intelligence community but also the House Committee on Intelligence. The president must appreciate that Russia is not our ally. There is no moral equivalence between the United States and Russia, which remains hostile to our most basic values and ideals. The United States must be focused on holding Russia accountable and putting an end to its vile attacks on democracy.

So you're generally mad at someone, whose name you aren't mentioning. And you hope the president appreciates that Russia is not an ally. Bold leadership, Mr. Speaker!

We go now to Fox for breaking news coverage.

That's news you can use! To be fair, the Fox producers were in a pickle since they cut from the Hot Mess in Helsinki to Stuart Varney and Neil Cavuto, who were ... not impressed.

Varney: It was not a very forceful presentation from President Trump with Putin standing right next to him.

Cavuto: I don't know. I'll give the benefit of the doubt to maybe jet lag and time differences. But holy moly!

Holy moly, indeed. Cavuto had no fucks left to give, going on to pronounce himself disgusted.

That's what made it disgusting. That's what made his performance disgusting. I'm sorry, it's just the only way I feel. It's not a right or left thing to me, it's just wrong. A US president on foreign soil talking to our biggest enemy [...] is essentially letting the guy get away with this and not even offering a mild criticism. That sets us back a lot.

Well, shit! That's .... ABSOLUTELY TRUE.

Even Trump's little buddy Ron DeSantis (R-Sinus Infection) was unimpressed with the Finland Fuckup. What a missed opportunity ... to blame Barack Obama!

In terms of the meddling, I think the point to make, that the president could make very easily, is this happened when Obama was president and one of the reasons it happened, I think, is because people in the Russian government didn't think Obama would do anything. So Obama's weakness over eight years, starting with the 'Reset,' I think that that did invite Russia to be more belligerent than they otherwise would have if they had someone pushing back.

It would be a damn shame if this genius gave up his House seat only to lose the Florida gubernatorial race after getting Trump's endorsement!

John McCain was appalled.

Today's press conference in Helsinki was one of the most disgraceful performances by an American president in memory. The damage inflicted by President Trump's naiveté, egotism, false equivalence, and sympathy for autocrats is difficult to calculate. But it is clear that the summit in Helsinki was a tragic mistake.

"President Trump proved not only unable, but unwilling to stand up to Putin. He and Putin seemed to be speaking from the same script as the president made a conscious choice to defend a tyrant against the fair questions of a free press, and to grant Putin an uncontested platform to spew propaganda and lies to the world.

And Meghan McCain's bosom heaved in horror.

We anticipate serious furrowing of brows and exactly ZERO further reaction. Although, if any Republican were to tap out, our money would be on Russian Ambassador Jon Huntsman. Here's his daughter, a current Fox News commentator, commenting on Trump's disastrous summit with Putin.

And here's Huntsman's chief strategist from his 2012 presidential campaign -- which he lost for being too fundamentally decent to win the Republican nomination -- weighing in.

UH HUH.

But never fear, Real Americans! Fox will turn this debacle into a debutante's ball! First they've got Chris Wallace sitting down for a hard-hitting interview with Vladmir Putin during dinner.


And if that doesn't do the trick, they've got The Dotard on with Hannity at 9 to mayonnaise up that chicken shit until it almost looks like a bowl of chicken salad. ALMOST.


By the time the wingnuts are tucking into their beds, the whole thing will have become a rousing tour de force. A foreign policy coup. And the libs will be so triggered!

MAGA!MAGA!MAGA!!!!!1!!!

Now MAGA up your OPEN THREAD!

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One of the most common things to say in America, just behind "Happy Birthday" and "NO COLLUSION," is "Mitch McConnell should go fuck himself." It works for all occasions, whether you have just stubbed your toe or whether you are in the middle of your wedding to your sweetheart. Try it!

But why should Mitch McConnell go fuck himself at this particular moment? Let's look at the top three current reasons!

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Sucks to be you, Pat Shanahan! The acting Defense secretary is currently under investigation for preferential treatment of his former bosses at Boeing, who just got busted letting planes fall out of the sky if buyers skimped on the upgrades. Shanahan was never a favorite of Trump's, and now his chances of getting made Big Boy For Real Sec Def are decreasing by the day. Which means that he's going through all this shit for nothing! Womp womp!

What shit, you ask? Well! Last night Shanahan announced the first tranche of the "found" money the DoD is shifting over to fund WALL in defiance of Congress's constitutional spending powers. The Defense Department will be transferring the cash from accounts meant to support military personnel into "anti-drug funding," which they've decided means they can use it to build "18-foot-high pedestrian fencing, constructing and improving roads, and installing lighting within the Yuma and El Paso Sectors of the border." Already pissed off about the fake EMERGY declaration, although not pissed enough to override a veto, congresspeople on both sides of the aisle are hopping mad that the Trump administration dicked them around for months, shut down the government, forced them to negotiate for wall funding in good faith, and then said HA HA SUCKERS, WE'RE JUST GOING TO STEAL IT FROM THE RAINY DAY FUND ANYWAY!

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