GOP Hopes You Won't Notice Budget Fuckery. Wonkagenda For Tues., Dec. 5, 2017

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today, but first, enjoy a tranquil clownfish hanging out with some its anemone-bros.

Late last night Robert Mueller asked a judge to yank Paul Manafort's bail deal after it was discovered that Manafort was writing an op-ed under a fake name with a sketchy Russian confidant aimed at sowing doubt against his involvement with Russian fuckery.

MORE documents have been turned over to Robert Mueller and his justice league of extraordinary investigators that show an NRA operative attempting to set up a meeting between the Trump campaign and Putin.

The story about the day George Papadopoulos was arrested is some super sweet Spy vs Spy stuff.

Trump's bank records at Deutsche bank have been subpoenaed by Robert Mueller's team. The bank says it will cooperate and spill the beans about Trump's roughly $300 million in debt.

Here's a good 'splainering by Ali Velshi about all the poor-fucking hidden inside the Trump/Ryan tax cuts (for the super rich).

With a government shutdown looming at the end of the week, Republican leaders are trying to kick the can down the road for another two weeks, hoping like hell you won't be paying attention to politics during the holidays CHRISTMAS, DAMMIT.

Over a dozen House Freedom crazies almost scuttled the Trump/Ryan cuts (for the super rich) yesterday when they began opposing a routine procedure in protest of all the deficit spending.

Congressional leaders will drag their asses over to the White House and try to hammer out a budget deal, at least until Trump inevitably gets distracted and starts defending pedophiles on Twitter (again).

Congressional Democrats want to know why the FCC is refusing to release the ISPs of net neutrality complaints. To be honest, it's probably because almost half a million comments were from Russian bots.

Yesterday SCOTUS decided to let Trump's Muslim bantravel restrictions on people from Muslim majority countries stand on the grounds that the Muslimrevised travel ban was about keeping 'Murica safe from bad hombres.

A new investigation by USA Today has found the VA has been hiring awful doctors with malpractice claims and settlements in cases that left people dead or dismembered, sanctions for sexual misconduct, and felony convictions that include burglary and drug dealing. But don't worry about it -- everything will be just fine.

Now that it's been revealed that he's a creepy old man, John Conyers won't run for reelection in 2018.

One of the women who says she dated ALLEDGED pedophile Roy Moore when she was 17 has found MORE evidence in her old scrapbook, with handwritten notes from Moore.

Following Trump's endorsement, the RNC will give ALLEDGED pedohile Roy Moore $1 million dollars for his Senate race because apparently morality and scruples are dead.

Donald Trump is allowing an elite team specializing in interrogating terror suspects without torture to fall into disuse, because torture is cool and the program was set up by Barack Obama's administration.

A bipartisan delegation of legislators from hurricane ravaged Florida and Texas are threatening to vote en masse against a continuing resolution to fund the government if they don't get some money to for all their icky, mold-covered poors.

A new survey of Hurricane Harvey survivors has found that barely a quarter of storm victims have received any aid from FEMA, with black and Hispanic people suffering the worst.

Deep in the bowels of Congress and K street, Democratic strategists are plotting class warfare against Republicans who just can't stop all their poor-fucking.

Later today a judge will rule on whether a sexual harassment claim by former Apprentice contestant, Summer Zervos, can move forward -- potentially setting the stage for Trump to testify about all of his pussgrabbing.

NICE TIME!Jess Phoenix is a vulcanologist running for California's 25th on a platform of bringing more science into politics.

NICE TIME! During a debate about same sex marriage, an Australian politician proposed to his partner. Absolutely FABULOUS! Cheers, mates!

Milo Yianno-whatever is in Australia saying awful things. That's about all the coverage we're going to give this obnoxious, self-aggrandizing jerk with no fashion sense.

During some silly PR thing last night John Oliver started grilling Dustin Hoffman over allegations of sexual harassment, and no, Hoffman really can't use Tootsie as a defense for his feminist credentials.

MSNBC has essentially "You're Fired" contributor Sam Seder after a sarcastic anti-rape tweet was dug up by the alt-right MRA troll, Mike Cernovich.

The SEC took its first shot at the Internet's magic funny money when it filed a complaint against PlexCoin for defrauding investors.

FCC Chairman and corporate piece of shit Ajit Pai will speak at Verizon's DC headquarters today, presumably to gloat and dance on the corpse of the Internet with the impending death of net neutrality.

A decision from the Ninth Circuit court in favor of AT&T could negate Pai's half-assed argument that repealing net neutrality would give the FTC regulatory control over telecom companies.

If you can stomach all the Christianist crap, this profile of Mike Pence might make you wonder if Pence is more evil and conniving -- and ultimately worse than -- Donald Trump.

According to Alex Jones, lesbians are running around grabbing ass and trying to "take a buzz saw and cut the top of your head off like a pumpkin" so they can eat your brains. With that logic, the Walking Dead is an allegory for feminism.

And here's your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert had some talky time with Billy Bush; James Corden talked about Trump's admission of guilt; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at obstruction of justice and tax fuckery; The Daily Show 'splainered the GOP love letter to the donor class; Jordan Klepper talked about how the NRA is rolling back gun laws; and Samantha Bee dug up some economists to explain why the Laffer Curve is horse shit.

And here's your morning Nice Time! LION CUBS!

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.


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