GOP Lying Out Their Asses About The Mueller Indictments? UNPOSSIBLE!
Hey, remember on Friday when Deputy AG Rod Rosenstein announced that there was NO COLLUSION and everyone in Trumpland had been cleared of all crimes? And then he said that Donald Trump won fair and square by being an amazing candidate?
YOU DON'T? Well that's probably because it never happened! Never fear, though. The Republicans just kicked the #HOTTAKE generator into overdrive to flood the plain with bullshit.
The indictment was 37 whole pages long! Mueller must have laid all his cards on the table, right? Plus, Rosenstein went out of his way to say three times in his press conference that no evidence of collusion exists IN THIS INDICTMENT, which is science proof that no evidence exists! Think about it.
No Collusion- @JonathanTurley: These new indictments are good news for @realDonaldTrump. When The DOJ says no Americans wittingly dealt with Russians, they mean there was no collusion. #MAGA #TrumpTrain #Dobbs pic.twitter.com/LIGcS7zYOY
— Lou Dobbs (@LouDobbs) February 17, 2018
Just kidding. Do not think about it, because GOP talking points will just make you DUM. This is facially ridiculous argument, and yet most of the GOP liar class is dutifully out there shouting ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE!
.@hogangidley45: The Russia investigation has proven President Trump correct, there was no collusion between Trump, his campaign and Russia and this did not affect the election pic.twitter.com/4RtBgbyec7
— FOX & friends (@foxandfriends) February 17, 2018
That's Deputy White House Press Secretary Hogan Gidley. Who went on to say, "There are two groups that have created chaos more than the Russians, and that’s the Democrats and the mainstream media." Watch your back, Sarah Sanders!
Really, dude? You're going to pretend that Trump hasn't been out there for two years pretending that there was no Russian conspiracy and the whole thing was a hoax? That's some hacky crap, even by the standards of the Washington Examiner.
And speaking of hacky ... Operation Russian Ratfuck got started in 2014, so how even could they have known Trump would be a candidate? Yes, they are really arguing this.
He registered the MAGA trademark in 2012 and told people at the Moscow Miss Universe pageant in January 2014 that he was running.
But you do you, Brian Kilmeade.
Also, WTF? "The Rapey One" tweeted this yesterday.
Facebook's VP has helpfully muddied the waters by ... making a nuanced argument that Facebook didn't allow the Russians to use their platform to ratfuck the election? No idea what this guys is talking about, but the Republicans are hella grateful.
Let's just check back with the indictment, shall we?
By approximately May 2014, Defendants and their co-conspirators discussed efforts in interfere in the 2016 U.S. presidential election. Defendants and their co-conspirators began to monitor U.S. social media accounts and other sources of information about the 2016 U.S. presidential election.
By 2016, Defendants and their co-conspirators used their fictitious online personas to interfere with the 2016 U.S. presidential election. They engaged in operations primarily intended to communicate derogatory information about Hillary Clinton, to denigrate other candidates such as Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, and to support Bernie Sanders and then-candidate Donald Trump.
Naturally Devin Nunes knows who is to blame and it is BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA!
Ditto Sean Hannity, who is sure that Hillary Beghazied the election with her Uranium One email server.
And good old Matt Schlapp is #METOO on the Blame Obummer train.
But the best entries were from the bit players. The ones who are sure that indictments brought by Robert Mueller prove that Robert Mueller is part of a #DEEPSTATE conspiracy.
And Kurt Schlichter, who has gone so far through the looking glass that he's now defending the First Amendment rights of Russian hacker trolls. Who are being indicted for wire fraud, identity theft and conspiracy to interfere in the US electoral process, but WHATEVER.
And we didn't even look at the Trumpspawn tweets because HFS this week done almost killt us! Anyway, great job, GOP! You've really outdone yourselves. Lee Atwater would be proud!
Follow your FDF on the tweeters!
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.