GOP Reveals New New Extra New Plan to 'Empower' Women By Telling Them They Are Stupid


What? Is? This? SHIT?

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Republicans have a new plan to woo the lady voters, and it's new! And a plan! And unlike all the other new plans they've been trying, this one is totally going to work. (Spoiler: It is not going to work.)

As Democrats fired up the “war on women” campaign again this week, a top ranking woman in the Republican-majority House tested the GOP message to battle the allegation in the midterm election campaign.

“We are starting to hear this drumbeat again from the Democrats suggesting that the Republicans are waging a war on women,” Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.) said in a speech Friday afternoon to the Republican National Committee “Taking Back the Future” conference at a Washington, D.C. hotel. “As you all know, there’s no truth to it.”

It's sort of impressive how much wrong Cathy can squeeze into one sentence, which is probably why she's done so well for herself in her party, but A) women do not actually need the Democratic Party to suggest to them that there is a Republican war on women because, despite being women with little itty bitty ladybrains, WE ALREADY FIGURED THAT ONE OUT ALL ON OUR OWN BEFORE THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY CAUGHT ON, JESUS CHRIST!, and B) there is SO much goddamned truth to it, Cathy, that if you piled up all the truth, it would wrap around the Earth 2,152 times, and if we could harness the power of all the truth to it, we'd solve all of our energy problems forever, JESUS CHRIST AGAIN SOME MORE!



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