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GOP Reveals New New Extra New Plan to 'Empower' Women By Telling Them They Are Stupid

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What? Is? This? SHIT?


Stop me if you've heard this one before. Republicans have a new plan to woo the lady voters, and it's new! And a plan! And unlike all the other new plans they've been trying, this one is totally going to work. (Spoiler: It is not going to work.)

As Democrats fired up the “war on women” campaign again this week, a top ranking woman in the Republican-majority House tested the GOP message to battle the allegation in the midterm election campaign.

“We are starting to hear this drumbeat again from the Democrats suggesting that the Republicans are waging a war on women,” Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.) said in a speech Friday afternoon to the Republican National Committee “Taking Back the Future” conference at a Washington, D.C. hotel. “As you all know, there’s no truth to it.”

It's sort of impressive how much wrong Cathy can squeeze into one sentence, which is probably why she's done so well for herself in her party, but A) women do not actually need the Democratic Party to suggest to them that there is a Republican war on women because, despite being women with little itty bitty ladybrains, WE ALREADY FIGURED THAT ONE OUT ALL ON OUR OWN BEFORE THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY CAUGHT ON, JESUS CHRIST!, and B) there is SO much goddamned truth to it, Cathy, that if you piled up all the truth, it would wrap around the Earth 2,152 times, and if we could harness the power of all the truth to it, we'd solve all of our energy problems forever, JESUS CHRIST AGAIN SOME MORE!

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Presidential contender Kamala Harris held her first official campaign event in South Carolina, a key state in the upcoming Democratic primaries. Friday night, she spoke to a crowd of roughly 1,000 at a town hall at Royal Missionary Baptist Church in North Charleston. She reaffirmed her support for sensible gun safety laws, including universal background checks and closing the "Charleston loophole." She fielded questions from voters about how she'd address mass incarceration. Actual issues were discussed, but then she went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like eating in public.

Harris filled her tummy with Lowcountry goodness at Rodney Scott's BBQ. Later her press secretary, Ian Sams, tweeted a photo of the senator adding a hefty dollop of Texas Pete to her collard greens because she's civilized. Some chose to interpret this as "pandering." Because some are literally killing us with this.

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Last week, we started getting excerpts from fired acting FBI director Andrew McCabe's new book The Threat: How The FBI Protects America In The Age Of Terror And Trump, and we are both happy and horrified to report that his book tour continues! One of the tidbits we learned in the Washington Post review was that we have YET ANOTHER example of a time Donald Trump has shown us that he trusts Vladimir Putin more than he trusts his own intelligence community, and is probably compromised by the Russian president. Here's how the Post put it:

During an Oval Office briefing in July 2017, Trump refused to believe U.S. intelligence reports that North Korea had test-fired an intercontinental ballistic missile — a test that Kim Jong Un had called a Fourth of July "gift" to "the arrogant Americans."

Trump dismissed the missile launch as a "hoax," McCabe writes. "He thought that North Korea did not have the capability to launch such missiles. He said he knew this because Vladimir Putin had told him so."

Guys, it is SO MUCH WORSE when McCabe tells the story on "60 Minutes," because his account captures the fucking babyshits temper tantrum nature of Trump's reaction to his intel people.

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