Idiot GOP Senators Demand 'PG' Rating That Stands For 'Pretty Gay'
And Jesus Wept | Terry Alexander | Flickr

We can't believe we didn't see this one coming. It's a stupid Republican action that hadn't occurred to us yet.

Some GOP senators have written a letter begging the TV rating authorities to come up with a special rating for shows that tells them whether the show has a gay in it. Or a trans person.


Anyway, it's to "protect the kids." Obviously. It's definitely not to protect grown rightwing Christian traditional married men from temptation, but that's always a boner we mean bonus. After all, the people who vote for these guys most enthusiastically are the types of men who put "Covenant Eyes" on their own computers to keep themselves from goin' a-pornin' at night when the rest of the family is asleep.

You might want to know if your dumbfuck GOP senator is on the list, and if you live in Kansas, North Dakota, Montana, Utah or Indiana, then yes, you got a dumbfuck GOP senator on the list. It is Kevin Cramer, Steve Daines, Mike Braun, Roger Marshall, and Mike Lee. Jesus, did a sexy gay man spirit haunt the midwestern cornfields late one spring evening and give all these boys a fright? Was it whispering on the wind like "heeeeeeeey guuuuuuuuurl, we seeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuu"?

The letter is written to Charles Rivkin, chair of the TV Parental Guidelines Monitoring Board, and it reads in part:

Recently, a video emerged showing a prominent executive at children’s entertainment giant Disney saying she supports having "many, many, many LGBTQIA+ characters in our stories."

Of course, it's fuckin' Disney again. They're all deathly afraid of the Mouse.

To the detriment of children, gender dysphoria has become sensationalized in the popular media and television with radical activists and entertainment companies. This radical and sexual sensation not only harms children ...

Fuck off. Gender dysphoria is a real medical condition and not a casual choice like extremist bigoted Christianity. And it has nothing to do with sex.

but also destabilizes and damages parental rights.

Hey, remember how we were talking recently about "grooming" and discussed how fundamentalist Christians are the most dangerous groomers in the country?

LET'S DO IT AGAIN, because this letter is best understood in that context.


It's easy to laugh at, but what these senators are asking is for the TV to alert fundamentalist Christian bigot parents to the existence of LGBTQ characters, because these parents believe that if nobody ever "puts the idea of" LGBTQ people in their kids' heads, that their kids will not turn out to be LGBTQ.

Yes, it's the height of abject stupidity, but they really do believe it, because they've brainwashed to believe it. They still think you catch the gay or the transgender from external forces. And in their futile desperation, they really want to keep that from happening, because they are busy grooming their children to grow up to be heterosexual cisgender fundamentalist bigots.

Spoiler alert: MILLIONS of them have LGBTQ kids, and MILLIONS MORE will have them, and nothing they do can prevent it. The only thing such parents can accomplish with their — what's our vocabulary word? — grooming is to teach their LGBTQ kids how to hate others and hate themselves.

Just like some of their own closeted parents do.

Oh Lord, we just laid down some gospel truth, y'all! We just admitted that some of the parents protesting the loudest right now are very likely repressed closet cases themselves! Can we get a fuckin' AMEN?


We rejoin the letter with more bitching and moaning about Mickey Mouse:

This same company has concerningly denounced and vowed to work to repeal a recently passed Florida parental rights law

Again, that's better read as "Interferes With Fundamentalist Christian Grooming" law.

that bans classroom instruction on sexual orientation or gender identity in kindergarten through third grade.

Because why did they want to do that, class? Ding ding ding, now you're gettin' it!

Sexual orientation and gender identity instruction

"Instruction." These people are so fuckin' weird.

often entails a discussion concerning an individual’s pattern of emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction.

Read: tells kids simple, true, age-appropriate facts, for example that some princes want to marry a princess and some want to marry a prince. It's no more graphic than asking six-year-old boys if they have a girlfriend. None of the idiots' complaints in that sentence have anything to do with "gender identity," so we're giving that part the respect it deserves, by ignoring it.

Parents all over the country have rightfully expressed outrage over its inclusion in the classroom.

Oh, we know! Absolute worst parents in America and they just won't stop telling us about it!

A former creator of Disney children’s content recently published an article acknowledging that every children’s TV writer knows to be careful about “modeling behavior” as children will often imitate what is projected through the TV scripts, especially preschoolers. Sexually-related content not only negatively influences and exploits its young audiences, but also harms child actors. Time and again, child actors from major children’s TV channels, including Disney, have revealed trauma from being sexualized at an early age.

This has zero to do with whether a TV character has two mommies or some cartoon farm animal identifies as non-binary. Parents, if you want to keep your kids from watching fucking on TV, keep them from watching fucking on TV. There are already ratings that tell you that. And if you're concerned about the plight of child actors, um, do something about that. This isn't it.

Considering that the cognitive markers of sexual desire emerge during puberty when adolescents undergo natural hormonal and physiological changes it is wholly inappropriate to display this content in a TV-Y7 category and for other young audiences.

Uh oh, sounds like some GOP senators have been Doing Their Own Research! Bless their hearts. Ask any gay person when they realized, in a childlike way, that they had a same-sex crush. Ask a straight person when when they realized, in a childlike way, that they had a crush on somebody of the opposite sex. Ask a trans person when they realized their gender did not match their brain. Lotta people are going to tell you "five" or "seven" or "I dunno, I just always knew?"

But note that they are clinging on to this hilarious notion that if their kids just don't see gay or transgender on TV, their parents can prevent it. They are clinging on to it like a gun or a Bible they've never actually read.

This dialogue often involves the promotion of irreversible experimental treatments that involve surgical and otherwise invasive cosmetic procedures that are detrimental and life-altering, and do not evidence medical necessity.

Oh good God. What fuckin' shows are these idiots watching? Is there a Gender-Affirming Surgery Hour on Nickelodeon that we're not aware of?

So that's enough of that. In the last graf of the letter, they beg the TV authorities to make sure ratings are applied "without ideological bias." We've discussed how when they say that, when they say corporations and media should be "neutral" by not saying anything that might offend a froth-mouthed anti-LGBTQ bigot, what they're really saying is that acknowledging that LGBTQ people exist in a place where kids might see it interferes with hateful fascist Christian parents' freedom to groom their own kids.

It's really transparent when you take a second to look at it.

[New York Post / this damn letter / h/t JoeMyGod]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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