The GOP's "Let's humor the president and talk out both sides of our assholes" thing is getting kind of ridiculous, y'all.

But more on that in a sec. First, here is GOP House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who lives so far up Donald Trump's ass he smells of yesterday's Big Macs (allegedly!), explaining why President-elect Joe Biden should not be getting the President's Daily Brief each day:


At his weekly press conference, Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy of California cast doubt on the results of the presidential election and said Biden need not receive classified intelligence briefings from the Trump administration until his scheduled inauguration on Jan. 20.

McCarthy quoted Biden's words from a speech Tuesday to make his case: "'Look, access to classified information is useful, but I'm not in a position to make any decisions on those issues anyway. As I said, one president at a time. He will be president until January 20. It would be nice to have it, but it's not critical.'"

McCarthy then said: "I think I kind of stand with Joe Biden. I'll trust the intel community. He's not president right now. Don't know if he'll be president January 20, but whoever is will get the information."

Oh suck my whole fucking ass, Kevin McCarthy.

Joe Biden was projecting calm in a very stupid storm, communicating that he doesn't care what these clowns do, since he'll be president on January 20 anyway. He wasn't saying he shouldn't be getting the PDB.

Meanwhile, Kevin McCarthy, as a member of the Gang Of Fucking Eight, should know that part of why we have a presidential transition period, and a large part of why the President-elect is read in to intelligence briefings early and often, is that the presidential transition period is a vulnerable time, and the new president needs to be ready on day fucking one to address EVERY national security issue. There is no study period. They have to hit the ground running.

And yes, Kevin, Joe Biden will be president on that day. Jesus Fucking Christ.

Now that we've gotten that off our chest — did we tell Kevin McCarthy to suck our whole entire ass? We did? OK cool — here's the part about how it's gettin' kinda silly that all these GOP senators, most of whom refuse to congratulate Joe Biden or acknowledge the thorough ass-beating he gave their boy wonder behind the gym last Tuesday, are now starting to come around and say yeah they guess Joe Biden should be getting high level intel briefings. You know, not that he's President-elect or anything.

At this point they are literally saying some random guy named Joe who does not even have a government job should be getting America's most highly classified intel. Why? No reason.

Roll Call, the same link what provided the McCarthy quote above, reports that John Thune, Rob Portman, Lindsey Graham, Josh Hawley, James Lankford, and Chuck Grassley have all said Biden should be getting the PDB. Lankford even said on Wednesday that if Biden's not getting the intel he needs to get by today he's going to do something about it. (We guess yesterday was just kinda busy for him. Maybe had a hair appointment or something.)

Here's where it gets pathetic. The Washington Post notes that Thune told CNN Biden should get the PDB because we should "prepare for all contingencies." You know, like the fucking President-elect being inaugurated president, like the goddamned Constitution says. "Contingencies."

John Cornyn says Biden should get "the information," whether it's in the form of the PDB or not. "I just think it's part of the transition," said Cornyn. "And uh, if in fact he does win in the end, I think they need to be able to hit the ground running." Or, uhhhhhhh, you know, if he won on November fucking Third.

Here's Marco Rubio, who chairs the Senate Intelligence Committee:

"Our adversaries aren't going to wait for you to catch up to take action," said Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., [...] "Giving them access to additional information doesn't prejudice the president's electoral claims."

"The president's electoral claims," good God. Go tweet a Bible verse, assrocket.

Susan Colins is giving off appearances of being marginally sane:

Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine), one of the four Republicans to congratulate Biden, said, "President-elect Biden should be receiving intelligence briefings right now. That is really important. It's probably the most important part of the transition."

We'd give her more credit for being the only mildly sane one in the room, and for having the common decency to congratulate President-elect Biden, if we didn't know she was riding high on her win, secure in the knowledge that no matter how the Senate ultimately shakes out, she's going to be one of the most powerful people in the Senate. She is only thinking about herself.

She is also playing both sides:

She added that he should have access to office space, federal employees and the standard assistance given "that the apparent winner receives, and that doesn't in any way preclude President Trump from pursuing his legal remedies if he believes there are irregularities but it should not delay the transition, because we want the president elect — assuming he prevails — to be ready on day one. And that's why the intelligence briefings are critical."

"Assuming he prevails," LOL, Jesus.

We thought we lived in the stupidest timeline during the pre-election days of the Trump presidency. We were wrong. This is even stupider than that.

Oh well, as the old expression goes, it's always bugfuckingstupidest darkest before the dawn.

[Roll Call / Washington Post / NBC News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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