GOP Senators Report From Inside Trump's Ass On How Great It Is Alex Vindman Got Fired

The fall-out from Donald Trump's mercurial baby-tantrum firing of Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman and his twin brother Yevgeny continues. Or if you are a Republican or Tulsi Gabbard, maybe we should call it the fall-IN, because of how awesome it was for Trump to make like a dictator and do that. Republicans are totally stoked about Trump firing those guys, and Tulsi Gabbard, as ever, is "present."

After Gabbard went on the Fox News Neil Cavuto show to talk about how it was totally cool for Trump to fire Vindman, she went on the Fox News Sean Hannity show to talk about it some more, because we guess she was just still hanging around the green room looking for something to do. Hannity called her "courageous" for taking such a bold stand for a dictator's rights to do whatever he wants. It was just a very normal interview for a very normal Democratic primary candidate.

But this post isn't about dragging Tulsi Gabbard. We did that yesterday and we'll do it many more times, as long as she insists on staying in the public eye. Maybe once she loses the presidential race and leaves her congressional seat, we'll get to drag her as the Fox News contributor/host she so obviously dreams of being.

Talking Points Memo collected some of the reactions from GOP senators to Vindman's firing. Surprise, they are all gross, but Roy Blunt of Missouri is one of the worst. He'd have fired Vindman sooner!

"I'd dismiss him for that," Sen. Roy Blunt (R-MO) said of House impeachment witness Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman taking a "policy problem" public with his testimony during the impeachment inquiry.

Fuck you, Roy Blunt. As was explained a thousand times over the course of the hearings and the trial, this was not a policy issue. It is not a valid "policy" to commit crimes and extort a foreign country to announce investigations of your domestic political opponents to help you steal a free and fair election. Also fuck you.

As TPM notes, most of the Republican senators were less explicit than Blunt (maybe that's why his last name is "blunt" hahahahaha NOT A FUNNY JOKE, WONKET, TRY HARDER), but they were still dicks, saying, "The President has a right to surround himself with individuals he chooses" (John Barrasso) and Alexander Vindman "wasn't very loyal" (Richard Shelby).

As usual, the very worst Trump boot-licking GOP senator has been Lindsey Graham, who used to have morals before his morals died of brain cancer (leaving behind a wife named Cindy and some great kids and also one named Meghan), and he went looking for another powerful man to shake his pilot fish tail feathers around.

Graham went on "Face The Nation" this weekend and said some holyshitwow unhinged conspiracy theory things about how Vindman is DEEP STATE!11!1!BENGAHZI11!!!!

GRAHAM: As much as I support our military people telling the truth when asked -- it's important they do -- what have I learned in the last two years? CIA Agents, Department of State , Department of Justice lawyers, FBI Agents have a political agenda, and they acted on it, and we found that out during the FISA investigation.

Then Graham lied and said Vindman was never asked if he was the whistleblower or if he was going to the prom with the whistleblower or whether he leaked to the whistleblower, and we know that's a lie because we watched the same fucking hearings Lindsey Graham watched, and Vindman most certainly was asked leading questions like that, by Republicans who just really wanted to out the whistleblower, in order to further our slide into banana republic status.

In response to Graham, Vindman's former supervisor, Brigadier General Peter Zwack, ripped the sadass senator in half, with words, also on "Face The Nation":

ZWACK: I am a proud member, retired member of the intelligence community [...] and I guess that makes me a card-carrying member of the Deep State.This is ridiculous, okay? To come in this way -- these people are great Americans, they're often put in a difficult situation. Senator Graham, I've always had a lot of respect for you, I met you when you was in Afghanistan in 2008, when you arrived with Senator McCain and Joe Lieberman as part of the three amigos. We thought you guys were rock stars. Where are you now, sir?

Inside Donald Trump's butt.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-Not A Traitor Like These Other Fuckers) on Monday sent a letter to all 74 inspectors general, asking them to be vigilant in investigating the Trump administration's retaliation against whistleblowers and really great guys like Alex Vindman, whose only "crimes" were to be present for Donald Trump's treason phone call with Ukraine, to report what he remembered about the treason call to White House lawyers, and to obey a lawful subpoena from Congress and tell them the truth about what he saw. And also other really great guys like Alex's twin brother Yevgeny, whose only "crime" was being born from the same exact womb as Alex, nine minutes later.

Just gotta hope there are still a few good (career) people in the Trump administration who still care about things like that, just kidding, that is a stupid hope, vote the motherfucker out no matter who the Democrats choose as their nominee, my God.

[Talking Points Memo]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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