Just think ... somewhere in the world, it's already weekend o'clock.

  • Boy, those Republicans, man. They sure know how to woo the womenfolk. Or at least the menfolk, which, let's face it, is really who matters:

    Back in March, organizers held a fundraiser for Republican Congressman Steve Southerland described as a meeting with Southerland and a “small group of concerned men,” according to an invite obtained by BuzzFeed.

    The invite goes on to say that attendees should “tell the misses not to wait up” because “the after dinner whiskey and cigars will be smooth & the issues to discuss are many.”

    But don't get your hysterical panties in a twist, girls, because according to his campaign manager, they've "also participated in events with women." Presumably with chocolates and chilled wine and SHOOOOOOOOOOZ!

  • An interesting hiring choice at Huffington Post. But we're not judging:

    The new media empire announced Wednesday that Donte Stallworth, a former NFL wide receiver who had spells with six different teams during his 10-year playing career, will be joining the site as a fellow covering national security.

    Not that sportsball stars can't write good, of course. Like we said, we're not judging:

    But some of his other social media activity has also come in for criticism following his hire by HuffPost. In a pair of tweets written in 2009, Stallworth appeared to expose himself as a 9/11 truther.

    "Gggrrrrrrrrrrrrr @ ppl who actually believe a plane hit the pentagon on 9/11... hole woulda been ASTRONOMICALLY bigger, God bless lost lives," Stallworth wrote in one tweet.

    He elaborated on that point in a subsequent tweet a short time later.

    "NO WAY 9/11 was carried out by 'dying' Bin Laden, 19 men who couldn't fly a damn kite. STILL have NO EVIDENCE Osama was connected, like Iraq," he added.

    Nope, still not judging. But you can feel free.

  • If you happen to live in California -- and why wouldn't you, really? -- you may be aware that we are having a SERIOUS GODDAMNED DROUGHT right now. So instead of being that guy who waters his perfectly green lawn in the middle of the day, even though we are OUT OF GODDAMNED WATER, be like this sweet grandma, 83-year-old Yvonne Murray:

    Murray, who has lived in Palo Alto for 60 years and her current house for more than 25 years, decided in early August to install the beach. The setting evokes waves of fond memories of Southern California beaches, where she spent spring breaks as a girl and summers as a mother of three daughters. Murray also grew tired of looking at brown lawn, which died along with her sprinkler use when Governor Brown declared a drought emergency earlier this year.

    During the drought in the 1980s, Murray brought buckets into the shower to catch and reuse water that would otherwise slip down the drain.

    "I'm too old to carry a bucket anymore," she said. "That meant I had to figure out some other thing to do."

    Landscaping alternatives such as mulch, rocks and native plants did not appeal to her. If she was going to save water, she wanted to have some fun in the process. One day, the idea to bring her "favorite thing in the world" to her front yard just popped into her head. She turned to her gardener for guidance and execution.

    "I told him I wanted sand," she said. "He said not sand. It doesn't stay in place nicely, and every cat in the neighborhood would love it."

    The two settled on decomposed granite for its soft, natural appearance and light maintenance. The beach, which covers half of a yard divided by a walkway, took two days to complete. The gardeners uprooted the grass, pulled weeds and leveled the ground. Then they covered the area with a cloth to stymie the protrusion of future weeds. Finally, they laid, soaked and compacted the decomposed granite.

    "I wanted it to look like a real beach, so I went hunting at a couple stores and found toys and pillows and umbrellas," she said.

  • Look at this big-ass dinosaur. It's BIG:

    Eighty-five feet long, 30 feet tall, 130,000 pounds and still growing when it died, a newly described dinosaur is among the largest land animals that ever lived — so big its discoverers are calling it the Dreadnoughtus.

    Its skeleton, unearthed in the Patagonia region of Argentina, is the first of this species and the most complete ever found in the group of gargantuan dinosaurs known as titanosaurs, scientists reported on Thursday. [...]

    Its full name is Dreadnoughtus schrani — for the Dreadnought, the almost impervious World War I-era battleship, and Adam Schran, a technology entrepreneur who helped finance the research.

    “Probably a pretty surly beast,” Dr. Lacovara said. “I wouldn’t want to get anywhere near this guy. If he leaned against you, you’re dead.”

  • Do you like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (which is the greatest teevee show of all time in Yr Wonkette's personal opinion, do not even try to argue, it is a FACT)? Do you also like Mallory Ortberg? Then you should probably definitely read this:

    Course List for Rupert Giles, Master of Library Sciences Candidate, Michaelmas Term 1982

    Yeah. You're welcome.

P.S. Joan Rivers died on Thursday. Many people on in the internets have some thoughts about that. You can share yours if you want. Or not.


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