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GOP to Push for Anti-Flag-Eating Amendment

things to come - WonketteThis past Memorial Day caretakers at the Oak Hill Cemetery in Neenah, Wisconsin noticed that more than two dozen American flags were missing from the graves of military veterans. Who was to blame -- commies? terrorists? beatniks? No, the answer was even more chilling: our so-called "friends" in the rogue animal kingdom.


For years -- dating back, some say, to the start of the Bush administration -- squirrels had been stealing and desecrating flags, shredding them for use as lining in their disgusting nests. Dozens were found in one such bunker in 2006.

But now, as the Iraq war drags on, other anti-American beasts are getting into the act. Even blackbirds are "trying to fly away with pieces of the flags."

After their offensive raids, the animals mockingly leave behind the wooden dowels that the flags once so proudly flew from.

'Critters' Blamed for Missing U.S. Flags [WTOP]

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It started with them damn hats. (Image: Wikimedia Commons)

A guest post by "Knitsy McPurlson," which we suspect is not a real name.

Yr Wonkette is not the only website run by brilliant peoples unafraid to poke people with sharp, pointy sticks. Ravelry.com – a website for knitters, crocheters, and other folks interested in textiles and fiber arts – is poking people with knitting needles, which are very sharp indeed.

This past weekend, Ravelry.com's founders showed the world how easy it is to de-platform white nationalists and racists when they banned all "support of Donald Trump and his administration" from their website, concluding they "cannot provide a space that is inclusive of all and also allow support for open white supremacy." Seems like people smart enough to decode a knitting pattern are also smart enough to decode Trump's not-so-hidden message of racism and white nationalism.

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One day, God willing, my grandchildren will click open their history textbooks and read about the Central American migrant internment camps. They'll learn about sick kids, locked in cages, kept hungry and dirty and cold for weeks on end, and they'll be horrified.

"Bubbie," they'll say, "how could this happen in America? How could there be toddlers sleeping on the ground without blankets, without soap or toothbrushes to clean themselves?"

"I don't know. I wish I had done more. I'm ashamed," I'll say. We will all have to answer for this atrocity. But some of us will have to answer more than others. Not just the archvillains like Stephen Miller and John Kelly, but the people who kept right on doing their jobs, even as those jobs morphed into defending concentration camps.

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