GOP: Who Cares Trump’s A Tax Cheat When Hunter Biden’s Still At Large?
If you believed for an instant that Republicans would care that their deadbeat dad, Donald Trump, has paid almost nothing in taxes for decades, you're dumb enough to deserve your substantial tax burden. This morning, on "Fox & Friends Who Probably Pay More Than $750 In Taxes," Steve Doocy asked regular contributor and Trump stooge Mike Huckabee what he thought of the revelations from the New York Times, and the former Arkansas governor went full “shoot the messenger."
HUCKABEE: Well first of all, it's the New York Times. I'll tell you what I make of it, is when the New York Times says something about Donald Trump, I kind of blow it off as totally lacking in credibility.
The New York Times is often goofy, but if it were a perpetual motion libel machine, someone would've sued it into oblivion by now. Besides, either Trump pays taxes or he doesn't. There's no liberal or conservative bias regarding that simple fact. As journalist Jay Bookman noted, Trump could easily humiliate the paper of record by releasing "just one page of his 2016 and '17 returns, that critical last page of Form 1040 that includes his signature and total tax paid."
We all know Trump won't do this because he's tried to hide his taxes from the public for a reason, and that reason is that he's a big dumb failure.
HUCKABEE: But let me give you this. So what? In a big business operation like he runs, there is a good likelihood that with all of the various business losses that he had from running for president when he wasn't overseeing his business, maybe that's so.
LOL! Daddy Huckster's implying that Trump's financial woes are because he wasn't personally steering his Titanic operation. However, the guy's never made actual money from non-debt-based revenue aside from the time he impersonated a businessman on TV.
Huckabee's dismissive “so what?" is something else. So much for the party of “law and order." Here's conservative icon Margaret Thatcher, as played by Meryl Streep, explaining why everyone has to pay taxes, even desperately poor people, which Trump technically is.
THATCHER: This is a simple proposition. In order to live in this country, you must pay for the privilege — something, anything! If you pay nothing, you care nothing. What do you care where you throw your rubbish? Your council estate is a mess, your town, graffiti, what do you care? It's not your problem. It's somebody else's problem. It's the government's problem! YOUR problem is, some of you, is that you haven't got the courage for this fight. You haven't had to fight hard for anything. It's all been given to you — and you feel guilty about it! Well, may I say, on behalf of all those who HAVE had to fight their way up, and who don't feel guilty about it, we resent those slackers who take, take, take, and contribute nothing to the community!
Even Trump's much-reviled “illegal immigrants" pay federal taxes. This is their way of demonstrating the “good moral character" we like to see in our citizens, unless they're fake billionaires who launder money through their daughters.
Speaking of rubbish that contributes nothing to the community, Donald Trump Jr. regained consciousness long enough to whine to his "Fox & Friends" about the Times's hit job on his dad. He couldn't understand why the Times would waste so much time and resources digging into the incumbent president's financial squirrel's nest when, if it were a reputable publication, it would muckrake the fuck out of Hunter Biden, who's not even the PTA president at his kids' school.
Clearly, Donald Trump Jr. thinks this is all about Hunter Biden: "If only they spent as much time looking for maybe… https://t.co/a7SWpZtvJC— The Recount (@The Recount)1601295435.0
TRUMP JR.: If only they spent as much time looking for oh, I don't know, Hunter Biden's tax returns, and the Biden crime family issues, where Hunter is taking money from a known associate of Vladamir Putin. 3.5 million dollars. Money that's linked to human trafficking and prostitution rings in Eastern Europe. Brian, imagine I did that, imagine I did that.
It sounds like Trump Jr.'s confessing: “OH MY GOD! I DID THAT! I DID THAT! I JUST WANTED MY FATHER TO LOVE ME! WHY? WHY!!!?
The Trumps and their GOP enablers played this game in 2016 with Hillary Clinton, but for a number of dumbass reasons, a lot of voters considered Clinton “untrustworthy" and “corrupt." Biden doesn't have that problem and Junior's on-air meltdowns won't change public perception.
Jim Jordan tried to spin the Times expose as a positive because there was no apparent smoking gun linking Trump's mountains of suspiciously forgiven debt to Russia. I'm not a tax expert, but I don't think “payments from a hostile foreign power" is a typical line item.
The media promised that President Trump’s tax returns would reveal deep ties to Russia. Didn’t happen! Know whos… https://t.co/nb6TZro2fY— Rep. Jim Jordan (@Rep. Jim Jordan)1601304558.0
Gee, Mr. Congressman with a functioning brain, you convinced me: I'm not voting for Hunter Biden. Unfortunately for Trump and the GOP, he's not on the ballot. His father is, and we can trust that once Biden's elected, he won't let Hunter "Jared Kushner" up his administration.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes reviews for the A.V. Club and make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."