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GOP’s Hot New Strategy: Romney Is Boring And Sour And Full Of Malaise! (VIDEO!)

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An odd thing happened yesterday, once all the olds woke up at 5 a.m. and saw the clip of PresidentBarack Obama slow-jamming the news with Jimmy Fallon on their computers, instead of on the television as God and NBC intended. Democrats found it delightful and funny, and Republicans didn't! That's so weird, you guys! So the RNC figured it would take John McCain's winning tactic of portraying Obama as a goldanged celebrity, and they would run with that. And so they put together an ad, in their ad-putting-together shop, juxtaposing BO's baritone and sexy backup music by The Roots and Jimmy Fallon calling him "Preezy of the United Steezy" (COMMON JAZZ TALK!) with Mitt Romney talking about how Americans are tired and sad. Good plan you guys, let's see how it plays!


Here are some of the things the RNC does not Find Funny, THANK YOU VERY MUCH: "the Barackness Monster," Barack Obama saying "Now is not the time to make school more expensive for our young people," and the dude from The Roots who beefed with Tina Fey (we think?) growling "POTUS with the mostess." That is pretty offensive; even the one proper white man on the stage is talking Ebonics!

And here is Mitt, whining because he does not want to pay his taxes when you "attack success," soulfully crying for the "millions of Americans without work," weeping for the soldiers who are unemployed because there is no fifth deployment to Iraq to keep them busy. It breaks my heart, he says, the failed leadership and faulty vision.

That is an excellent way to fire up your base and will not at all leave them in a Prozac haze unable to move from their couches on Election Day. "Sadness" and "I'm not fun" are a terrific strategy that the Republicans should pursue forever, the end.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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