• Washingtonian dubs The Washington Post’s Jim VandeHei "the hottest new member of the traveling press corps." (They fail to say how hot. Young Howard Dean hot? Wes Clark Jr. hot? Please, clarify.) NYT-er Todd Purdum "dazzles" Postie Mark Leibovich. Not that there's anything wrong with that. [Washingtonian]

• Dem political consultant Bob Beckel "is not your usual faceless born-again." (They erase your sins and your face?) Laura Bush's style is "crystal and barbeque," and she enjoys "hosting small fried-chicken-and-deviled-egg parties for her husband." If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck: "That's all I'm going to say for now. Quack, quack," Antonin Scalia dismissing the controversy over his hunting trips with Dick Cheney.Atkins reps met with the Secretary of Agriculture. People mispronounce Teresa Heinz Kerry's name. (It's "ta-RAY-sa.") At least they're safe in one respect: An Army doctor in Baghdad reveals that he can't keep enough condoms in stock. [US News]

•Nader. Clinton Labor Secretary Robert B. Reich calls radical conservatives "radcons." (Ingenious!) Not to be outdone, Inside the Beltway coins "radlibs" (for radical liberals, get it?). South Carolina senate race hijinks. Rats have invaded a U.S. government office in Silver Spring. [WT]

• Conservative Rep. John Boozman (R-Ark.) was stunned to learn that someone has purchased the "boozmanforcongress.com" domain name and turned it into a gay porn site, apparently an off-shoot of the porny "MilitaryGuy.com," Creamer observed: "This certainly is not the proper way to support our troops." Speak for yourself. Representative Pat Toomey (R-Penn.) was in a photo spread marked "Looking Senatorial" in this month’s Men’s Health magazine. Other stories in the issue included "Sex Secrets! 25 Ways to Drive Her Wild." Sure: Insiders say there's a move to name the next aircraft carrier off the assembly line the USS Britney Spears, and to change "the name of the military’s prison camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to the Britney Spears Detention Center, a switch that would serve double duty by delighting Britney’s fans while infuriating terrorists who consider celebrities to be little more than demons from Hell." [Roll Call]

• She learned all her best moves from Al Gore: A source asked the 21-year-old Barbara Bush if she was a Republican, "She made a funny face and rolled her eyes. . . She said, 'I really wouldn't label myself that.'" CBS's "48 Hours" is looking for footage of Barbie's more attractive moves -- table dancing during Fashion Week. (If anything can top Nipplegate. . . ) [NYDN]

•Kerry's garage band record. Alec Baldwin: angry black man. [NYP and NYP]

•Vernon Jordan cracks up the swells at the Alfalfa Club dinner: "I only wish my daddy — Strom Thurmond — could see me tonight!"[NYP]