Gossip Roundup: Tucker Carlson Has a Real Thing for Lesbians (But Who Doesn't?)

Heard on the Hill: House Majority Leader Tom Delay (R-Texas) had IDT Corp. pay $3,595 for his helicopter ride from Philadelphia to New York, where he honored IDT's chairman, Howard Jonas, a campaign supporter. "Shuttle diplomacy at its swiftest," says spokesman Jonathan Grella. . . $1,000 gets a ticket to Karl Rove's "Boots & Bush-Cheney '04" fundraiser; Western attire strongly encouraged. [Roll Call]


Inside the Beltway: The Paradigm Clock, which countdowns to a formal announcement of extraterrestrial life, is reset to 1 minute, 15 seconds before midnight. "John Kerry locks up the Democratic Party nomination, thus creating the prospect of two alumni of Yale University-based secret society, Skull and Bones, facing each other on the November presidential ballot. This serves to place the issue of government and cabalistic secrecy as a societal detriment more prominently on the nation's radar." . . . PETA puts Jesus and Mary on billboards to promote the vegetarian lifestyle as "an Immaculate Conception." [WT]

Inside Politics: Kerry called Yasser Arafat a "statesman" and a "role model" in a 1997 book he still touts as his vision. UPDATE: This maybe hard for some of you to believe, but it turns out that the Washington Times has taken these "quotes" out of context. It's so cute when Wes Pruden imitates Ann Coulter. Will he start showing up to interviews in a mini-skirt, too? Anyways. Tapped has the full, more boring but sensible, quote. [WT]

Names & Faces: Dennis Kucinich hospitalized in his hometown yesterday for possible food poisoning. From the vegetables? [WP]

Liz Smith: Tucker Carlson in Elle magazine: "One area of liberal phenomenon I support is female bi-sexuality - this apparent increased willingness of girls to bring along a friend. That's a pretty good thing." Women "want to be listened to, protected and amused. And they want to be spanked vigorously every one in a while." On arguing, "most of the time you can beat a woman in an argument. But what do you win? Nothing. You get short-term pleasure followed by a lot of pain." If he could be any woman, he would be Elizabeth Birch of the Human Rights Campaign because "you'd be presiding over an organization of thousands of lesbians, some of them quite good-looking." (Geez, Tucker. Obsess much?) Carlson would go to bed with Hillary Clinton: "Every time I see her I think I could, you know, help. She seems tense." (What a humanitarian.) He would pick Laura Ingraham over Ann Coulter because "with Ann you could get bruised on the angles." [NYP]

Lloyd Grove's Lowdown: Ann Coulter: "Martha Stewart was prosecuted because she believed liberal secular gods like herself are allowed to lie to federal investigators - which, coincidentally, was also the position of her favorite political figure, Bill Clinton." Senator Hillary Clinton said, "[W]omen in positions of visibility are held to another standard. I hope that wasn't in play here." [NYDN]

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