Just in time to celebrate the latest fuckery by ICE, Utah arteest Jon McNaughton has released yet another hagiographic painting of the Great and Powerful Trumpsie to help Americans better understand the times they live in. With his typical blend of the visual style of Thomas Kinkade and the subtle political insights of Ben Garrison, McNaughton once again helps us understand we live in a time of folksy fascism.

This one is titled "Make America Safe," and like every McNaughton masterpiece, it deploys a metaphor that is quite simply micron-thick. A besuited Donald Trump stands in front of a picket fence with a padlock on the gate, holding in his perfectly normal-sized hand a good old-fashioned skeleton key of the sort that wouldn't open any padlock manufactured since around the time of, let's say, the Immigration Act of 1924.

Frankly, we doubt McNaugton is bright enough to have planned any reminder of that antiquated law, with its old racist national quotas aimed at Keeping America White. But the 1924 law is definitely what Team Trump has in mind when they talk about wanting more "skilled" immigrants like, say, people from Norway instead of the dusky hordes from shithole countries. The skill of being white and Christian was just as important to the bigots of the '20s as to the bigots of today, and the 1924 law was so good at shutting the gate on "inferior races" that it helpfully prevented Jews from escaping to the USA prior to and even during the Holocaust.

McNaughton's own patented explication of the painting clarifies a bit more whom he wants kept off America's Lawn:

President Trump holds the key to American prosperity for now and future generations. If you have a special place worth protecting you always require permission to enter. Weeds crawl the fence and seek to overrun the garden of our beautiful land. This metaphor is the perfect word for those who steal from the American people and choke out the prosperity and safety of the garden of our homeland.

Good so far -- as if we couldn't tell from the parched foreground outside the gate and the beautiful Edenic rose bushes -- THEY ARE AMERICAN BEAUTY ROSES -- and we guess that's lush green grass on the inside. (Also, the roses are not a reference to the filthy Kevin Spacey movie because Jon McNaughton does not watch R-rated pornography movies.) Oh, but look at this sudden shift in tone: You may have just thought the vegetation growing just outside the fence was any old plant, but no, those are Dangerous Alien Rapist Mexi-Weeds!

A weed cannot be tolerated long before it grows out of control and chokes out the true plant that bears fruit. The only plants that should be allowed in the garden are those which are selected, planted, nurtured, and are properly placed. Otherwise, the garden will fail.

[Tell it to Masanobu Fukuoka, McNaughton!]

This is our home, our place of safety, our heritage. American interests are more important than special interests. As the sun sets on a former time of mindless liberal policies that make America unsafe and unprosperous, let us raise the wall and lock the gate to all who wish to come uninvited.

Yep, just a little bit of Joseph Goebbels by way of Chauncey Gardner there. We're only surprised McNaughton didn't work a "blood and soil" reference in there, too. Surely his next patriotic work will literally depict migrants as animals.

Hey, you know WHO ELSE was worried about weed people? No, not the cops who were always busting the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. Someone else! Here, perhaps this bit of Art History will help:

Just clearing out the weeds so they won't be a problem. Build that wall! We're not sure how long it takes McNaughton to whip out one of his canvases, but it's ... interesting to see this pop up just a month after Jeff Sessions announced the administration's new family separation policy, one more measure to keep the weeds out. And with the news that immigration authorities will now be denying even initial "credible fear" screenings to migrants fleeing domestic violence or death threats from gangs, this painting is even more chilling.

What a beautiful day. As the sun sets on the last vestiges of decency, we're shutting the door and sending families back to die. This painting will almost certainly be a big hit with conservative Christians everywhere.

May the words of Matthew 25:43 singe themselves onto the covers of their Bibles:

I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

Challege to Wonkers: How about photoshopping in an ICE agent in full body armor, tenderly seizing a baby from her mother's arms? That would really liven this static image up some.

Also, we should add, Jon McNaughton apparently forgot that gates conventionally open inward, so you're not tripping people all over the sidewalk. His knowledge of immigration seems every bit as strong.

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[Jerusalem Post / "It's Them Or Us: Killing the Jews in Nazi Propaganda" / McNaughton Fine Art]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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If it's a day, the New York Times is fucking shit up, but today, it fucked up BIGLY.

Fresh-faced access journalists Adam Goldman and Michael Schmidt have just published what we can only describe as a drive-by shooting against Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, which reads as some bullshit planted by the White House to give Donald Trump the pretext for his Saturday Night Massacre, if he wants it. (He does.)

Maybe the White House is tired of talking about the flailing nomination of Judge Maybe Rapey and how Paul Manafort and Michael Cohen are cooperating with special counsel Robert Mueller, and the New York Times was more than happy to help!

Or maybe it was planted by former deputy director of the FBI Andrew McCabe, who was fired by Attorney General Jeff Sessions just hours before his pension was set to kick in, and may have a serious axe to grind with DoJ officials and leaked a copy of his own memos. (His lawyer says that's not true, but he would say that, wouldn't he?)

Or maybe it's both, somehow! Or one of many other things!

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It's not every day Golf Digest gets noticed as a source of hard-hitting investigative journalism, at least outside of reviews of titanium carbon fiber nanotech infinite improbability drivers or some such. But Wednesday, some journamalisming that started with a Golf Digest story about a guy who drew fantastic imaginary golf courses concluded with that guy, Valentino Dixon, walking out of Attica prison, 27 years after he'd been sentenced for 39 years to life. Not bad, Golf Digest. We give you a GOLF CLAP. And a Pulitzer if we had one, which, sadly, we don't.

As Golf Digest says, the twists and turns of the case are a bit complex (they're unraveled in more detail in this New York Times story), but it basically comes down to a local prosecutor who was determined to railroad Dixon for the 1991 murder of a 17-year-old, Torriano Jackson, in Buffalo, New York. The conviction involved

shoddy police work, zero physical evidence linking Dixon, conflicting testimony of unreliable witnesses, the videotaped confession to the crime by another man, a public defender who didn't call a witness at trial, and perjury charges against those who said Dixon didn't do it.

Dixon had a prior conviction for selling cocaine, and he made a convenient target for Erie County prosecutor Chris Belling, who was weirdly determined to ignore even statements from the actual killer, LaMarr Scott, who pleaded guilty to the killing shortly before Dixon's release this week.

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