Great Artist Jon McNaughton Unveils Exciting New Mueller Painting, 'Trump Gonna Cut A Bitch'
Where's my money, Mueller? Where's my GODDAMN MONEY?
America's Greatest Artist, hyperpatriot Jon McNaughton, is offering for sale a great new painting! This thing is titled "Expose the Truth." It depicts Donald Trump grabbing a terrified Robert Mueller by the necktie and threatening to hurt Mueller if he doesn't wear his ties a foot too long like a real American. Trump holds a magnifying glass, the international symbol of the detective's search for truth, and of rotten little bully kids who burn ants to death and then try to hold you down and brand you.
Just in case you're too dim to realize what this painting means, McNaughton includes his traditional explication, for any viewers who may have accidentally been pithed. He includes the quotation marks on his own text, perhaps to lend them the weight of a voice-over:
"There has been a crusade in this country led by a group that wishes to overturn the election and impeach President Trump. Robert Mueller leads a special council of at least 17 partisan Democrat attorneys who have yet to find a single piece of evidence against the President, yet they ignore the mounting verifiable evidence against Russian collusion with the DNC and the Clinton Foundation. The political bias and negligence of those who have lead the Department of Justice and the FBI is forthcoming. There comes a time when you have to take a stand to Expose the Truth!"
For laughs, McNaughton tells the Washington Post that he's not necessarily a Trump supporter, but rather a sort of Trump documentarian whose work will either be acknowledged as capturing the essence of the era or will fade away in irrelevance, never recognizing that "both" is a very real likelihood.
You see, says McNaughton, we've got him all wrong, or at least partly wrong. He artsplains to the coastal elitist WaPo reporter his lazy 2017 painting "You Are Not Forgotten:"
Obama! I'm crushing your head! Crushing your head!
Now, you might think this shows a triumphant Trump watching proudly as the Forgotten Man, freed of Obama's Constitution-stomping tyranny, nurtures a tree of HOPE. Well, only sorta-kinda, says McNaughton:
“Based on this painting, what do you think McNaughton thinks of Trump?”
The symbolism seems pretty bonk-you-on-the-head: tree as hope, Trump as savior, audience as grateful.
McNaughton says, No, that’s wrong. No, that’s not what he intended. “The point of the painting is that here are all the people who got him elected,” McNaughton says. “It’s, Okay Mr. Trump, now you’re here, what are you going to do?” The painting is not an endorsement of Trump, McNaughton says, so much as it’s a snapshot of the country in a moment in time. More than anything, he considers himself a “historical painter.”
See? He's holding Trump up and hoping the best for him, but with tough love, the way this new painting doesn't represent a bully trying to threaten an investigator, but rather a stern but loving President For Life demanding nothing but the highest possible standards from Mr. Mueller.
Or he'll beat the living shit out of him, as Barack Obama threatened to do to Vladimir Putin in what was clearly McNaughton's source image:
"The Forgotten Man" really is McNaughton's favorite trope. Here he is in his first appearance, as Barack Obama puts his dirty socialist Kenyan feet on the Constitution:
The Precious! Nooooo!
And McNaughton released another bad painting on the theme last week:
I paint the forgotten man cutting himself free from political correctness. The chicken is telling you its time to wake up! pic.twitter.com/pTHsRXudr0— Jon McNaughton (@McNaughtonArt) May 14, 2018
The chicken is telling you it's time to wake up! Hey, we wonder if the chicken is telling Jon McNaughton that his favorite lazy visual shorthand is also pretty much stoled from a 1934 painting, also titled “Forgotten Man,” by Maynard Dixon, which hangs in the Brigham Young University Museum of Art.
"Forgotten Man," by Maynard Dixon, 1934, Brigham Young University Museum of Art
And wouldn't you know it, Jon McNaughton studied art and design at BYU. As we said a while back, when Sean Hannity bought a copy of NcNaughton's "The Forgotten Man" for Donald Trump, Jon McNaughton
certainly had to be familiar with the original, which was more New Deal Social Realism than rightwing glop. No matter. If Trump can recycle “America First” from our 1930s fascist movement and “Make America Great Again,” the “Silent Majority,” and “Law and Order” from Richard Nixon, then there’s no reason a Great American Artist can’t borrow a little too.
Never forget: Jon McNaughton is far more than a hack. He's a surprisingly unoriginal hack at that.
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Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.