It just keeps happening. All across America, every time a school board gets together to try to make decisions for the good of the students in its district, the absolute dumbest and worst people God ever made are showing up, and they are MAD. They are probably also high on horse paste.

Today we bring you a scene from Greenville County, South Carolina, where you'll be forgiven if you think the former Miss Teen South Carolina has taken up anti-mask, science-denying batshittery. Like pretty much everywhere, in Greenville, there are kids in quarantine, and staff in quarantine, and COVID is a huge deal. This particular meeting was about COVID things, but it wasn't about ... whatever this asshole was talking about.

It's just that this concerned citizen was doing her own research — you know, how average American citizens do, when they breathe with their mouths open for 30 hours at a time while watching YouTube and forgetting to feed the family, that is just how research is done — and she found a CDC plot to turn schools into concentration camps as some sort of nefarious COVID prevention strategy.


IDIOT: The CDC is considering what is called the "shielding approach" to prevent COVID-19 and it is a plan to shut down schools and use them as camps, to physically isolate men, women and children.

That is not remotely what the "shielding approach" is about. Surprise, there's a braindead Candace Owens conspiracy lie involved here.

IDIOT: Now, we know that concentration camps were something that the Nazis did.

Uh oh, we've reached the "evidence" portion of the book report. She gonna lay out her case now.

IDIOT: But it can come here at any moment, and we need to be aware that they can call it something other than a concentration camp. Concentration camp can be disguised as somethin' like a green zone. [TURNS PAGE]

She practiced this part in front of the mirror all morning, probably.

IDIOT: The plan is to take, the plan talks about the loss of freedoms and personal interactions. It talks about taking children away from their parents, families away from each other, and separating everyone by genders.

Children away from parents, families away from families, genders away from genders!

IDIOT: My question is, will the school board comply to this CDC shielding approach AKA concentration camps now being renamed as green zones?

Is the school board going to do literal concentration camps? It's only fair to ask the question.

IDIOT: And if you want a copy, I'll be more than happy to give you one to look into, to dO yOuR oWn rEsErAch oN ...

Hahahaha she actually said the magic dO yOuR oWn rEsErAch words, they are the funniest words in the English language right now.

Kind of her to be willing to give the school board a copy of what she's learned about how they're about to team up with the CDC to do concentration camps.

IDIOT: ... to see what you think about it, because it is everyone's personal rights on what you think and it is laws can always give us freedoms, but they can always take away our freedoms too, and this right here can possibly take away everyone's freedom and their families, from each other.

Indeed, everyone's personal rights on what you think and it is laws can give us freedoms always but always also too take away freedoms from their families to each other and like such as some people in US America don't even have maps of the Iraq and the Asian countries dO yOuR oWn rEsErAch!

Have some more horse paste, America, it can't possibly damage your brain more than it already is.

(Do not eat horse paste.)

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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