Either way, you're doomed.

Greg Gutfeld, the man-sized supernumerary nipple on Fox News gab show "The Five," had some dire thoughts about the 2020 presidential election yesterday. Where Donald Trump has been warning that if Joe Biden becomes president, America will be burned to the ground because he'll appoint Antifa McBlacklivesmatter as attorney general and fire all the police, Gutfeld shared his own unique Night Terrors: What if Joe Biden loses, and all the Democrats take to the streets to murder every last Republican? Here's Gutfeld hoping that Nancy Pelosi is right when she predicts a Democratic sweep of the White House and both houses of Congress, because even though Joe Biden isn't his candidate, at least he won't be murdered.



Because if Biden loses, I'm being told that there will be blood everywhere. There will be riots, there will be demonstrations. People like me will be targeted 'cause we have to understand, we have to understand and predict these consequences in reality: I'm not joking. This isn't Gore versus Bush or Clinton versus Bush or Mondale versus — Reagan? Can't remember.

The Dems and the media have portrayed this election as good versus evil. It's actually been said that way on this show, which means that if Trump wins, if Nancy is wrong, it's almost required that the good take to the streets and punish the evil, because this is the terminology that's being used by the media, talking heads, entertainers, anchors, House and and Senate Democrat leaders, because we have, we have to be rea —

Reassured? Rheostats? Reagents? Reactionary?

Let's pause for a moment to recall that, among Greg Gutfeld's more level-headed assessments, he and Kimberly Guilfoyle once fantasized about Vladimir Putin taking over the USA so ISIS could be eliminated, and the hell with civil liberties, because terrism! And he also couldn't remember hearing of any rightwing terrorists either, not even after Juan Williams reminded him of that unpleasantness in Oklahoma City. So you know he's pretty tuned in to what political violence looks like, and it looks like Democrats coming to murder him if Biden loses. And also, since Donald Trump is right about everything, if Biden wins.

Poor Greg Gutfeld gonna die one way or the other, sadface :(

Did Gutfeld mention the very real Trump supporters who absolutely believe Trump's insistence that he can only lose if the election is rigged, and are prepared to start shooting commies if Biden "wins"? Haha don't be silly, the Left is violent and militia guys love America, and besides, that was on MSNBC, where liberals fantasize day and night about watering the tree of liberty with the blood of tyrants.

After his apocalyptic vision, Gutfeld suggested maybe it's time for a kumbaya moment, if only the Democrats can be talked out of violent revolution just this once:

This is why I say the media and our leaders have to come together and discuss a way to defuse the situation, because we've only got 50 days. We've been using demonic language to marginalize half the country and they are going to get hurt if Trump wins.

Gosh, yes, we sure do need the nice calm folks at Fox News to help us find the way forward to a less polarized discourse. If only Joe Biden would stop burning down America and call off his attack dogs. We sure hope we see more unifying messages like that.

UPDATE: Can't wait for Greg Gutfeld to condemn Trump pal Roger Stone, who went on the Alex Jones Information Warfare Smiletime Hour today to suggesting that Donald Trump make sure he wins by pretty much doing martial law. As Media Matters 'splains, sometimes you can only preserve democracy by eliminating democracy, and it's a republic anyway:

[Stone ] is urging Donald Trump to consider several draconian measures to stay in power, including having federal authorities seize ballots in Nevada, having FBI agents and Republican state officials "physically" block voting under the pretext of preventing voter fraud, using martial law or the Insurrection Act to carry out widespread arrests, and nationalizing state police forces.

Then again, none of that is necessarily violence in the streets, so Gutfeld might be cool with it.

[Nikki McCann Ramirez on Twitter / Update: Media Matters]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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