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Guess Brett Kavanaugh Didn't Want Us To READ His Alibi Calendar

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Brett Kavanaugh, you dumb son of a bitch!

Faced with mounting evidence that Kavanaugh was the douchiest of douchebros (and perhaps the rapiest), his supporters responded by releasing his calendar from summer of 1982. In which there are zero entries for "get plastered, follow girl upstairs, attempt to rape her while Mark Judge watches." Checkmate, libs!

No keggers, no groping, no getting blind drunk and exposing himself to women. Like he told the Fox lady, Kavanaugh was just a nice Catholic boy who went to church and was a good friend and only drank beers after he was 18 and it was "legal." If the glove does not fit, you must acquit!

Except, now we all know about B-E-A-C-H--W-E-E-K, you entitled sack of misogyny!


So when Julie Swetnick talks about you spiking the punch with roofies in Ocean City or Rehoboth, you've just told us exactly when you were there! But what else can we learn from this "exculpatory" document?

Well, looks like monthly visits to Dr. Dellatorre the dermatologist kept young Brett's skin shiny and clear for his two girlfriends, Suzanne and Nikki.

And we know that he spent a lot of time hanging out with Mark "Judge" and Squi.

Who's Squi? According to the Post, Squi is that guy whose name we were decent enough to redact -- the one framed by Ed Whelan as the Doppelganger Rapist. WONDER WHERE WHELAN GOT HIS NAME???

And we hate to interrupt this Mensa meeting, but how does it help you to call your buddy a drunken rapist, then produce a document showing that you went to parties with him all summer long? Next you're going to tell us that you hung out with exactly the same guys Dr. Blasey said were at the party where you allegedly tried to rape her.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING RIGHT NOW? You're going to someone's house for (brew)skis with Mark Judge, Patrick (PJ) Smyth and that poor sap we don't name, just like Dr. Ford said? This is the document that's supposed to prove you're an innocent choir boy who never touched a woman until marriage?

BRO, DO YOU EVEN LAW?

Brett Kavanaugh, you are GROUNDED


And also, GO THE FUCK AWAY you horrible monster!

[Calendar / WaPo]

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Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

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The New York Times this weekend brought us a case study of how Donald Trump's family separation policy tore apart just one family last year, although this particular example is notable because it involves the youngest child known -- so far -- to have been taken from his parents at the US-Mexico border. Little Constantin Mutu was just four months old when he was taken from his father, Vasile, a Romanian seeking asylum in the USA, having believed all that outdated crap about the Statue of Liberty being the "Mother of Exiles." What a sap! We're not letting those tempest-tossed takers push US around any more!

Constantin was taken from his dad in February of 2018, a good two months before the Trump administration officially announced the family separation policy -- but which we now know had been operating covertly since the summer of 2017 before it was expanded last year. Vasile and Florentina Mutu, members of the Roma ethnic minority, came to the US seeking asylum after Florentina found out that when she'd had a C-section while giving birth to Constantin, the doctors had also sterilized her without her knowing it. She said she was handed papers while she was foggy from the pain of labor, and had no idea what she was signing, and reporter Caitlin Dickerson notes "human rights groups have documented the practice of forced sterilizations" of Roma elsewhere in Europe.

And the Mutus had heard all sorts of wonderful things about America, too. They made a living by leaving their village and begging or doing short-term labor around Europe, then going home, where life was less expensive, but some people from their village had reputedly gone to the US and become rich, although maybe those stories were exaggerated. Still,

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