Gun Nut Blows Own Nuts Off, Is Hailed As Hero By Group Of Men Who Point Guns At Their Nuts
Today in things you may feel you were better off not knowing, there are multiple Facebook groups in which men take pictures of themselves with loaded guns pointed towards their dicks. And, in news that should not shock you at all, one of those men has blown off his testicles and is now being hailed as a king by the members of one of these groups.
On August 11, the man, a member of the "Loaded Guns Pointed at [B]enis" group, started posting a live video of himself pointing a gun at his dick and balls, for reasons, when the gun "accidentally" went off, in what's more accurately called a "negligent discharge" — and how. The video was swiftly deleted, and the man subsequently posted the picture above, showing blood spattered everywhere and the caption "[B]ois, I think I fucked up." You will note the copy of the Constitution in the upper left corner, reminding us all that it is a man's Second Amendment right to shoot his balls off if he so chooses.
It was not a mere graze. The man later went to the hospital and discovered that it had actually gone through, which seems ... uncomfortable. But apparently he is doing okay for a guy who just shot himself in the balls. He has since been made an administrator of the group, and members have been photoshopping memes of him as a king, accepting the Presidential Medal of Freedom, etc. etc.
The shooter didn't respond to a request for comment, but an admin for Loaded Guns Pointed at [B]enis said he was doing well. "[He] is 100% okay, actually went to work the next day," an admin of Loaded Guns Pointed at [B]enis told Motherboard in a Facebook message. "The reason we are calling him king is partially because the poor guy already shot himself, don't think he needs to be chastised as well... I'm quite sure he's learned his lesson without the entire world calling him an idiot."
It does seem like that ship has sailed. Then again, if the guy is okay with it — which it appears that he is — who are we to judge? Better his balls than someone else's, I say. Honestly, a gun nut shooting his own nuts off is probably the least bad thing to have ever come from the Second Amendment.
According to a VICE article on the fad from May of this year, the men who point guns at their dicks and balls are not, in fact, doing this to "own the libs," they are doing it to "own the responsible gun owners" who talk about things like "trigger discipline." This basically means that when those people post pictures of themselves holding their guns, they keep their hands off the trigger, they keep the gun unloaded, and they don't point it at the camera or at their junk.
So, just for instance, those people would consider this girl's yearbook photo to be a bad idea, generally speaking.
The Greasers vs. Soc's of the gun community are the Normies and the Fudds. As in Elmer Fudd. Normies are the ones who encourage gun safety and don't want to look like nuts to people like us, and Fudds are hardcore gun nuts who don't like the normies coming in and telling them what to do and which body parts to not point their guns at like they are stupid and don't know what they are doing. They then shitpost pictures of themselves pointing guns at their dicks for the purpose of freaking out the squares.
Alas, perhaps some of them may want to consider freaking out the squares with unloaded guns, at least. Unless they actually want to shoot their own balls off, in which case we will not kink shame them.
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse