St. Louis Gunhumper Couple Suing Photographer Who *Somehow* Made Them Look Like Assholes
Things aren't going so well on the private street where Mark and Patricia McCloskey live. The gun-toting St. Louis, Missouri, couple were charged this summer with unlawful waving of a penis substitute, and although Republican Gov. Mike Parson promises to pardon the McCloskeys if they're convicted, most people still think they suck.
Like true Trumpists, the McCloskeys have only everyone else to blame for their problems. They're now suing United Press International photographer Bill Greenblatt, who they claim trespassed on their property when he took a now-famous photo of the couple threatening protesters with improperly held firearms.
The couple, known for being litigious even before the June 28 encounter, said Greenblatt's photo has contributed to their "significant national recognition and infamy." In addition to Greenblatt and the news service, the McCloskeys are suing Redbubble Inc., a San Francisco-based online marketplace for print-on-demand products based on user-submitted artwork.
I'd argue that Greenblatt's photo, which we can't afford to share, is not the sole cause of their infamy. There was also viral cell phone video of the assholes running around armed and barefoot.
When Greta Garbo said, “I want to be alone," she meant that shit. The McCloskeys however welcomed attention from conservative grievance media and even willingly spoke at the Republican National Convention, linking themselves forever to a racist tumor of a president. Patricia McCloskey repeated Trump's deranged lies about Biden destroying the suburbs with an army of Cory Bookers.
RACIST LADY: They [Democrats] want to abolish the suburbs altogether by ending single-family home zoning. This forced rezoning would bring crime, lawlessness and low-quality apartments into now-thriving suburban neighborhoods.
The McCloskeys are the ones charged with breaking the law in the suburbs. These people live in a massive Renaissance-style palazzo but grossly associate poverty — or even just not having a palazzo — with “crime" and "lawlessness." They are cartoon villains, which is why they became obvious choices for Halloween costumes.
Its halloween Happy Halloween from the St. Louis gun couple #Halloween #HappyHalloween https://t.co/WPyCmjBkb4— Natali Carman🌊🌊🌊 (@Natali Carman🌊🌊🌊)1604130886.0
Happy Halloween from the Mccloskey family. 🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/HQOz0VTX6P— Maria Chappelle-Nadal🇵🇷 (@Maria Chappelle-Nadal🇵🇷)1604203529.0
This is what happens when you recklessly point guns at people ... and reveal questionable fashion sense.
The McCloskeys claim that Redbubble, Greenblatt, and UPI are making bank from “T-shirts, masks, and other items, and licensing use of photographs bearing [their] likenesses, without obtaining [their] consent." They want ownership of the photo and maybe a taste of the profits. (You wouldn't believe the upkeep on palazzos.)
Often their image on merchandise sold by Redbubble is accompanied with "mocking and pejorative taglines or captions," causing them "humiliation, mental anguish, and severe emotional distress," the suit alleges.
But dig how ignorant the McCloskeys are: Despite all the “humiliation, mental anguish, and severe emotional distress" they claim the photo has caused them, they have actually used the image in a personal greeting card. UPI even considered sending a “cease and desist" order, which I often do if I receive a holiday card where someone's dog is dressed like Santa Claus.
"Defendants acted outrageously and beyond all reasonable bounds of decency, with their conduct regarded as atrocious and intolerable by any member of a civilized society," [the McCloskeys] wrote in the lawsuit.
The McCloskeys probably could've avoided a lot of problems, but maybe not the hilarious Halloween costumes, if they'd just apologized and kept a low profile. Instead, they are heroes within their exclusive community while reviled by the non-palazzo having.
Their attorney, Anthony G. Simon, who is probably trying his best, was not available for comment.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).