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Ken Starr Declares Trump's Impeachment Invalid, And He Would Know

Impeachment

Last night was Impeachment Eve, and Ken Starr turned up on Tucker Carlson's show to share his expertise on sham impeachments. Starr informed us that the framers of the Constitution were "very, very concerned" about partisan impeachments. Removing a corrupt president from office requires true "consensus." This is rich coming from Starr, who personally led a partisan impeachment against Bill Clinton that had no "consensus" other than the five House Democrats who took a bold stand against fellatio-related felonies.

STARR: This is precisely what [the framers] did fear... We are doing what Mr. Madison warned against. We always talk about Hamilton and 65, Federalist 65, and rightly so.

Federalist 65 argued for the Senate instead of the Supreme Court as the preferred venue to consider impeachment charges because they involve "the misconduct of public men, or, in other words, from the abuse or violation of some public trust." It's inherently a political -- dare we say, partisan? -- matter. Maybe Starr just hasn't gotten around to seeing Hamilton.


STARR: But Mr. Madison argued successfully on the floor against having grounds of impeachment that include maladministration. I think that's what this debate is all about.

No, you hack, Madison distinctly warned against waiting until a general election to address a president's "incapacity, negligence, or perfidy." Madison actually used the words: "He might betray his trust to foreign powers." Trump's enablers keep acting as if the Ukraine extortion bid is the only lousy thing he's done in office. He's "maladministration-ed" all over the damn place -- kiddie jails, attempted Muslim bans, half-assed government shutdowns, leaving Puerto Ricans to die. Take your pick. Democrats aren't impeaching him just because he's a lousy president.

Madison did fear the president effectively "serving at the pleasure of the Senate," so George Mason offered the now famous phrase "high crimes and misdemeanors." Starr defined this as lying to the public about an extramarital affair so your wife doesn't beat your ass. But he shakes his head at Democrats' "hyperbole" regarding "national security" and Trump as a "clear and present danger." Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff are alleging that the president in his official capacity extorted a foreign head of state for his own political gain. Where's the crime? WHERE ARE THE BLOWJOBS?

Ken Starr: Trump gets a pass on impeachment because of SCOTUS appointments youtu.be

Starr might've sounded alarms last night about the dangers of a "partisan impeachment," but he woke up on Impeachment morning a changed man. He appeared on Fox again and said that Republicans are going to stand by their traitor president because of how much of the conservative agenda he's delivered. Partisan considerations will defeat a "partisan" impeachment. This is a very special episode of Trump!

STARR: I think we're gonna see real anger, because people sign up with a political party and now the loyalty to President Trump ... not because of his personality, people have to look past his personality, but because of what his agenda has been. Remember the Supreme Court appointments. That covers, as we say, a multitude of sins.

Hold up, Clinton appointed Ruth Bader Ginsburg to the Supreme Court. That alone should've earned him a Get Out Of Blowjob Jail Free card. It wouldn't have helped him with Hillary, but the notorious RBG is more genuinely sin-absolving than Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh.

STARR: Today's going to be filled with anger and vitriol. I think we're going to hear the same thing over and over, especially from the Republican side: Rush to judgment. What was the rush?

The following is not a rush to judgment. It is stated with all appropriate consideration: Go fuck yourself, Ken.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle.

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