The President's gay marriage thing is about to start. We're not predicting any surprises. At the moment, we just want to know what the fuck is with this CNN graphic.

Anyway, let's go.

1:55 --This is like a chore. It's like he has to mow the lawn. "Activist judges" got applause -- I thought he was gonna save that one for the Encore! Man, it's just like the old days, every line is an applause line.

Anyway, marriage should be decided by people, not by judges, etc. "Marriage is critical to the well-being of families."

Arrrgh this fucking hurts to listen to. Anyway, marriage should be defined by the will of the people as represented by the legislature, not by judges. Yeah! Fuck Loving v. Virginia!

2:00 -- "ACTIVIST JUDGES!" If DoMA is overturned, EVERY STATE WILL HAVE TO RECOGNIZE MARRIAGES FROM MASSACHUSETTS AND SAN FRANCISCO!

He's getting into it! He's excited again, banging the podium. Civics lesson time. How does an amendment get ratified? First, you need a demagogue.

"Every American deserves to be treated with tolerance, respect, and dignity." Give or take 10%. But hell, let's just agree with him about the constitutional amendment thing being the most Democratic way to solve the HOMO LOVE CRISIS. Once it fails miserably in the Senate, will it PLEASE GO AWAY FOREVER? THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.