Happy Bundyversary, America! Come On Down To Bundyland For BundyPalooza 2015!
Wow, can you believe it's been a whole year since the Great Big Freedom Standoff between a welfare rancher, his militia pals, and the Tyrannical Federal Government that wanted to take away all his cow friends because he never paid a penny of grazing fees after 1993? After, all, Cliven Bundy was just a simple rancher/entrepreneur peacefully grazing his cattle on federal land that was kinda-sorta near land that his family had settled since forever, or at least since 1948. So to celebrate the one year anniversary of the Greatest Freedom Standoff since Waco, the Bundy family is having a hootenanny, and everyone's invited! And thanks to the brave redacted Wonkette tipster who forwarded the email to us, we're excited to share the invite with all of you Liberty-Loving Loons, too!
You are Invited, Please join us!!!!!!!
BUNDY RANCH LIBERTY CELEBRATION
Date: April 10-12, 2015 (Fri, Sat, Sun)
Location: Bundy Ranch - Bunkerville NV 89007 - Exit 112 off of I-15, follow the American flags
Purpose: To gather in celebration of our liberties, agency and stand with God, for our U.S. Constitution, State sovereignty, Property rights and to enjoy access to our lands.
Who is Invited: All people who enjoy freedom
Activities: Camping, Off Roading, Hiking, Playing in the River, Evening BBQ (Bundy Beef), Shooting -- Come camp all weekend if you would like.
Stage Activities: Slide/Video Show, Live Band, Cowboy Poetry, Guest Speakers
Program: Friday & Saturday Evening; Stage activities and BBQ
Sunday; Testimony meeting, share your feelings for God and county
Just follow the line of flags of the nation whose government Bundy doesn't actually recognize as having any authoriteh!
We found a slightly more detailed list of speakers and performers out there on the web, and while it's mostly people we've never heard of, we see that while most of the speakers are listed by both first and last names, the Pledge of Allegiance will be led by someone only listed as "Alex," -- no telling whether that's Alex Jones, or a Bundy son we haven't heard of yet, or maybe some militia dude who proudly goes by just the one name, to confuse the Tyrants. It's definitely not Alex the African Grey Parrot, who died in 2007 but was probably smarter than any of the actual attendees, and certainly more pleasant to be around. The two biggest wingnut celebrities we recognized were our new favorite One-L'd gal pal Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore, who'll be live in person, and Richard Mack, the soon-to-be Freedom King of Arizona, who'll be attending via Skype, possibly because he's still counting all the money that lefties sent him to buy Obamacare.
Now, if you feel like maybe you might not fit in at BundyPalooza '15, don't you fear none! They're looking forward to people of all types attending, even the wrong types:
Special Invitation: Those who express music, poetry, words, documentaries and other arts. Those who hold political office. The cowboys. Those who supported with prayers and finances. The militia who keep us safe. Media outlets both friendly and unfriendly (TV, radio, internet, books, magazines and other). All those who have invited the Bundy family to speak and teach around the world.
Hey, we're unfriendly media! Dang, if it weren't for our important obligations like writing up the Dear Shitferbrains and catching the new season of
My Little Pony Game of Thrones OK, really My Little Pony, we'd definitely pack up Vlad the Impala and head for Nevada! And then we'd break down a hundred miles out of Boise again.
So while we won't be there to see if the various militia factions get into another fight about imminent federal drone attacks, or to hear whether Mr. Bundy has any knew knowledge about The Negro, we'll certainly keep the celebration in mind, and look forward to the great day when our grandchildren ask us just what the fuck was wrong with people in the early 21st century.
Tip of the Wonkette leather kitten headgear to tipster "Patrick"
Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.