Happy Father's Day, Roger Stone! YOU ARE THE COLLUSION!
Roger Stone, you got some 'splainin' to do, Mister! Remember all those times Stone swore on his Nixon tattoo that he never had any contact with Russians, wasn't a campaign surrogate, and wasn't tipped off to stolen DNC emails in advance? Like that time he told the Washington Post:
"I've never been to Russia. I didn't talk to anybody who was identifiably Russian during the two-year run-up to this campaign," he said. "I very definitely can't think of anybody who might have been a Russian without my knowledge. It's a canard."
Stone told the House Intelligence Committee the same thing last September, but, LOL FUNNY STORY! Seems that Stone just plum forgot about that time in May, 2016 when Trump communications advisor Michael Caputo asked him to meet with Henry Greenberg, "a man with a Make America Great Again hat and a viscous Russian accent." The Washington Post reports, Greenberg was offering sexxxxy Russian dirts on Hillary Clinton, which Stone and Caputo were only too happy to grab by the pussy. But they just couldn't get there!
The man, who called himself Henry Greenberg, offered damaging information about Hillary Clinton, Trump's presumptive Democratic opponent in the upcoming presidential election, according to Stone who spoke about the previously unreported incident in interviews with The Washington Post. Greenberg, who did not reveal the information he claimed to possess, wanted Trump to pay $2 million for the political dirt, Stone said.
"You don't understand Donald Trump," Stone recalled saying before rejecting the offer at a restaurant in the Russian-expat magnet of Sunny Isles, Fla. "He doesn't pay for anything."
As it happens, Caputo knows quite a lot about "The Russian way," having spent a decade in Russia, where he advised Boris Yeltsyn and burnished Vladimir Putin's image in the US on behalf of Gazprom, the state-owned oil behemoth. He then moved to Ukraine to work on a parliamentary election campaign. Which means we have a BINGO on our Hinky Russian Shit funtimes playing card!
Oddly enough Michael Caputo also forgot about the meeting when he sat down with the House and Senate Intelligence Committees last year.
Stone and Caputo said in separate interviews that they also did not disclose the Greenberg meeting during testimony before the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence because they had forgotten about an incident that Stone calls unimportant "due diligence" that would have been "political malpractice" not to explore.
But Robert Mueller seems to have jogged Caputo's memory last month. As Caputo told Anderson Cooper,
They know more about the Trump campaign than anyone who ever worked there.
(Amazing what law enforcement can do when they don't have FUCKING DEVIN NUNES blocking subpoenas!)
So when the Post came nosing around, asking about Stone and Caputo's contacts with "Mr. Greenberg," these guys were ready with a response. That's right ... THE BITCH SET ME UP!
The investigation of "Henry Greenberg" in two countries exposed yet another FBI attempt to compromise the Donald J. Trump for President campaign -- this time by a Russian violent criminal in the United States illegally.
Now, full disclosure Wonkers, we only looked at the Unabomber-style flipbook on Caputo's website. Perhaps there is definitive proof of NO COLLUSION! in their download. But we have no intention of handing our operating system over to Boris and Natasha this afternoon, and we suggest you do the same. Give it a hot second -- the whole thing will be on Scribd soon enough. Numerous passages appear to have been authored by someone for whom English is NOT a first language.
Henry Greenberg is not a legal alias, but he uses it quite commonly in recent years. ...
Between 2007 and 2015, the condo was owned by Dima Petrova Mircheva, 40, a State of Pennsylvania civil engineer who may have been born in Bulgaria. ...
Leontev, 48, happens among six individuals designated by the US Department of the Treasury for sanctions. [Emphasis added.]
Did Caputo get his intel from a foreign government? Because that would be very strange way to prove that there was NO COLLUSION! Also, seriously kids, DON'T CLICK.
While Vostretsov claimed in the 2015 affidavit he sent to an immigration judge that he stopped working for the FBI that year, it would be safe to assume that if a criminal alien with his immigration background is still in the US today, he is only here with the support from the US government and is still working with the FBI.
Interesting assumption to rest your entire case on, Mr. Caputo! But we can't help noticing that Donald Trump has been in power for 18 months, and the FBI has been run by Republicans for much of that time. Why is this guy still here? Dunno, it's probably those evil Democrats!
Is that a picture of Mr. Vostretsov wearing a Donald Trump shirt? Wow the Deep State is really good at disguises!
More to the point, what the hell kind of defense is, "They asked us if we wanted to collude with Russia, and we were totally down, so we sent Roger Stone so as to have plausible deniability?" Is that really what you guys are going with here? Also, "We did not report the Russians approaching us to the FBI, but believe us, the FBI is VERY BAD"?
It seems to me, however, whatever the differing recollections about this, it sort of gets resolved with the fact that Stone did nothing about it. He came to the conclusion, according to the Post, that it was a waste of time.
Right! Attempting to get dirt from a foreign power on your electoral opponent is TOTALLY KOSHER. And the fact that the very same month "coffee boy" George Papadopoulos got drunk and blabbed to an Australian diplomat that the Trump campaign had dirrrrty stolen Hillary emails is just a coincidence. Also, too, Trump Tower meeting in June, 2016 where Don, Jr. tried to get Russian dirt on Clinton. And don't forget Roger Stone coincidentally bragging in August, 2016 that he "dined with my new pal Julian Assange last nite."
Oh, and here's one more COINCIDENCE to add to the pile.
Just the President of the United States attacking the Washington Post an hour after it exposed his campaign's willingness to do ALL THE COLLUSION with Russia. This is fine!
Follow your FDF on Twitter!
Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.