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Happy John Lennon Day! (The FBI Is Probably Still Investigating Him)

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This is the anniversary of John Lennon being murdered by some creep, and it follows not so far behind what would've been Lennon's 70th birthday -- ha ha, and 70 doesn't feel that old anymore, to us! (Nor does 40, which was Lennon's age when he was gunned down outside his apartment, while signing stuff for his fans.) Think of all the people who made it all this time since: Keith Richards, Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, Fidel Castro, even half the Beatles. And think of how much money and manpower the U.S. Government spent harassing and investigating this guitar player, because he was against a mindless, expensive, morally repugnant war just like all the other sane people alive at the time.


We have mentioned the Keith Richards' autobiography, which is the only "book by a famous musician" we've actually read since Chronicles I, by the aforementioned Dylan. And what impresses from the Richards' book more than anything is the tremendous, tireless efforts the authorities make to put Keef away for drug use -- including drugs that were either legal or handed out by the British health care system to addicts until a change of policy in the late 1960s and early 1970s.

With Lennon in the United States, as these many gross pages of documents proudly displayed on the FBI website can attest, the interest was far more political. For years and years, during the long awful decline of the 1970s, many U.S. government employees trusted to uphold the Constitution and provide justice to Americans instead wasted their time (and our tax dollars) idiotically tracking the banal movements and thoughts of a guitar player who rarely left his apartment. Because OMG, what if he meant Revolution, for real?!?! What if the millionaire in Central Park West suddenly called up a guerrilla army of freaks to ... we don't know, ruin America in some way that differed from the way Washington (then and today) intentionally ruined America.

His great crime, as far as anyone can tell, was donating $75,000 to a group that planned to protest the GOP convention in Miami. Gosh! Is that a crime, now? Was it then?

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Yeah, that's my daughter and I made this

Guys!

Last

month

was

crazy!

First, NASA sent its last message to the Mars Opportunity rover! THEN scientists said that all the insects are dying but not the human-looking ones in the GOP. As if THAT wasn't enough, some brave pendejos with grandes cojones are going to try and get seafloor creatures from under a giant ice shelf in the ANTARCTIC!

So, yeah, all three of those stories happened last month. Let's cover each in a science lightning round.

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Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is terrible at her job. Her objectives and overall mission are evil, but if it's any consolation she can't effectively implement them. After buying her Cabinet position at Sotheby's, DeVos has spent the past two years trying to roll back Obama-era policies designed to protect and actually educate students. Unfortunately for her evil schemes, federal courts keep smacking down her slimy efforts. It's getting embarrassing.

DeVos recently had to cancel $150 million in student loan debt after courts said her attempts to stop the "borrow defense" regulations from taking effect were in fact illegal. Last week, she was forced to instruct colleges to follow the Obama rule barring mandatory arbitration agreements. She got kicked in the teeth earlier this month when a federal judge ruled she'd acted illegally ... again. This time, DeVos tried to delay an Obama-era guideline that required states to address racial disparities in their special education programs. Judge Tanya S. Chutkan called the delay "arbitrary" and "capricious."

The rule, drafted under the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act, would require states to identify districts with "significant disproportionality" in the number of minority students channeled into special education services, segregated in restrictive classroom settings or disciplined.

OK, so what was the "education" secretary's issue with this rule? We want to imagine there's some rationale we're not seeing and DeVos is more than just some yacht-collecting monster.

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